It's been a long time.....

It's been a LONG time since I've written anything on this blog. I really haven't had the urge to write anything.

It's been a different kind of summer, then again it's been a different kind of year.

Some in my family would say it's been a terrible year, and that they can't wait for 2010 to begin. I don't feel that way, there have been a lot of very bad times this year, but there have also been some very good times. And there are no guarantees that 2010 will be any better, so personally, I just try to find whatever joy I can no matter what.

I recently read "Relentless" by Dean Koontz, which is another one of his thriller type novels. I never cared for his books years ago, they struck me as being full of downright horror and evil. He rediscovered his faith in God in more recent years, and his books reflect that, even when they are about evil in the world, so I find them much more entertaining and redeeming than his earlier works. I saved a few "quotes" from "Relentless" because I really appreciated Koontz's view on God, faith, and truth as expressed in the story. Koontz writes, in the voice of his main character, "...God has a sense of humor, and because the world is wondrous, He expects us to find reasons to smile even on the darkest of days." He summed up in one sentence the way I try to live my life.

I'm hoping in the next few days I can take the time to share some of the wonder, humor, and smiles I have enjoyed in the past few months. I also hope to update the photos and music. So check in once in a while and see what's new.

Top 10

Here's a list of the top 10 things I learned since January.

10. Dirty is a relative term. What I used to think was a dirty house pales in comparison to what a house looks like after a month of 5 extra people living here and then another month of not having time to clean after that. So from now on, if I say "My house is dirty," it really means it's dirty, not just dusty and messy! Dusty and messy no longer count for much.

9. People who are hurting the most may be the ones that offer you some of the most heartfelt support. Two women I know who are immersed in their own difficulties have been extraordinarily supportive. So next time I think that "I don't have time," or "I have too much on my own plate," I'm going to think of these two women and check myself to see if I really do have too much to deal with to support someone else.

8. Send the card. I'm not good a sending cards for things like thank yous, thinking of you, or sympathy. It's not that I don't want to, it just seems to be one of those things that get pushed off until the eternal tomorrow. If I go to a funeral, I don't send a card, because I figure that the family knows they are in my thoughts because I was there. Or I think, that person or family is so busy and grief stricken that they won't even notice if I send a card. And I never know what to write in a sympathy card either. I have received dozens and dozens of sympathy cards over the past few weeks. Every single one of them has meant a great deal to me. I've received them from people who came to the memorial service, people who sent flowers, people who read my facebook page, and some people I wouldn't ever expect to take the time to acknowledge my loss. Some of them have had meaningful notes written in them, some just a signature. But they have touched my heart the same. It's been powerful experience to know how many people have thought of me and my family.

7. I don't have to explain. I'm asked several times daily, "How are you?" I just don't know how to answer that because honestly I don't know how I feel. I'm not sure I feel anything. At first I would launch into an explanation of why I don't know how I feel. I've realized that most of the people who are asking me how I feel don't need to hear anymore than, "I don't know how I feel." Most people understand that, because somewhere along the way, most adults have been overwhelmed by life.

6. It's okay to be "that person." I've never been "that person" who's name is announced in church, who is prayed for from the pulpit, or got a card of support from Tuesday morning Ladies class. I've always been a "go to person," someone who can always pick up one more task, or help out in a pinch. I've always been a Timex, I take a lickin' and keep on tickin'. I've never been "that person," the one who is so overwhelmed that no one will consider adding another thing to my plate. But guess what, that's who I am now, and there's no shame in it. I really can't take on anymore right now, and I have accepted that. And I appreciate those around me who realize that too.

5. Everyone grieves differently. This is probably the most significant loss of a loved one I have experienced so far. But I think I've been less emotional than I have over the loss of some church members who I hardly knew. I don't know why, and I don't like it. I feel like I look like a cold fish to everyone. But I have to trust that God will lead me in my grief and bring me through it in the way He knows is best for me.

4. Take time for family. I've gotten caught up in an unexpected trap. I have a great church family. My parents and siblings live more than an hour away, some 2 hours away. So I've gotten to depend on my church family. It's become easier and easier to put off phone calls and visits because I'm so busy with the people that are nearby. I've spent more time with my family in the last 2 months than in the last few years. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. And sometimes as a Christian, you are the only Bible some of your family members will ever read. So take time for family.

3. Say thank you. I say thank you at all the typical times. But when someone would offer me help, I would usually give an explanation why I didn't need help. And then if it turned out I did need help, I was afraid to ask after I turned them down. When my niece was in the hospital, I sent out e-mail updates to the rest of the family, my brother-in-law's family, their church family, and their neighbors and friends. People who lived 2 hours away would offer to drive down just to give me an hour off!. At first I almost went into the usual explanations. Then I realized (thank you God,) that people not only want to help, they need to help. There were many people who were so far away that felt helpless because of the distance, and I realized that they needed to be able to offer help as much for their own comfort as for the comfort of my sister and her family. So God led me to say, "Thank you," and "I will take you up on your offer when I need you." And I did when I needed the help. And when I didn't, I was still really was thankful for the offer!

2. It's too easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment. There was some ugly stuff going on within the family when my mother's health was declining. Being tired and depleted opens the door for satan to come in and do his dirty work. I've seen things that were absolutely ridiculous and infantile go on in other people's families during times of crisis when everyone really should be pulling together. It's hard enough to believe unstable people can drop to the levels I've seen, but I am really baffled when reasonable people get sucked in. "I would never act like that!" I always thought. Yeah, right. I got sucked in even as I knew it was happening. I was angry with myself even as it was going on. Fortunately, God pulled me out before I said and did things that were irreversible. I didn't always conduct myself in a manner that was pleasing to God, but I finished strong, and in the end left the kind of impression a Christian should.

1. Prayer is powerful. I knew this already. As you've read on my blog in the past, I believe prayer caused God to intervene in Maria's illness. But over the last couple of months, I experienced the power of prayer in a different way as well. I often didn't have the energy to pray. That's how depleted I was. But I asked others to pray for me. And knowing that my friends were praying for me in earnest lifted me and gave me the strength to keep going. I can't find the words to describe how powerfully I felt the prayers. I am so grateful and filled with joy because of those prayers.

I'm not ready!!!

Remember the movie, "While You Were Sleeping"? Well, I feel like I just woke up and realized the world kept going without me! January was spent recovering from an over scheduled November and December. In February, my sister and her family spent the entire month, from the 1st to the 28th, at my home while my niece Maria was being treated at CHOP. Also during that time, my mother was in the hospital and my daughter had foot surgery. Six days after my sister's family went home, my mother went back into the hospital and passed away 5 days later. Since then, it's been a whirlwind of all that goes along with the loss of my mother. And in there also was Mallory's spring musical, which I devoted the better part of a week to help with. (A bright spot in the month of March.)

So what happened to the winter? I'm not a fan of winter, but there are a few things about it that I like. What happened to snuggling up in front of the fire with cookies and hot tea? The nearly full cord of firewood in our backyard virtually untouched attests to a lack of fires in the fireplace. What happened to American Idol? I have no idea what's going on. I have 2 months of TV shows on the DVR unwatched (mercifully I did get caught up on Lost!) None of the projects I planned on doing over the winter got finished. A couple got started, but they still lay where I left them on January 31st. What happened to photographing the winter birds at the bird feeder and in the snow...I'll tell you what happened, I haven't filled the feeders in at least a month. So no birds!

Today I realized that in about a week it will be time to put out the hummingbird feeder. That means it's really spring. And that reminded me to take 10 minutes to go outside and fill up the regular bird feeders. Stepping into the backyard, the first thing I noticed was what a mess the flower and shrub beds are...some Master Gardener I am. I was so busy finishing my internship for the Master Gardener program in September and October that the fall yardwork never got done! I never got to the critical late winter and early spring work on the beds for obvious reasons. Then, with panic in my heart, I noticed that beneath all of the debris of last summer, new plants were coming up! And I said out loud, "No God, stop, I'm not ready for this yet!" Whether I'm ready or not, the hostas are coming up, so are the daylilies, shasta daisies, peonies, yarrow, and clematis. The hydrangeas are beginning to leaf out, and I see green fuzz on some of the trees.

After I went back in the house, I realized the absurdity of the statement, "No God, stop, I'm not ready for this yet!" Can you imagine what we would miss out on if God stopped every time we told Him we weren't ready? How many of us may never have stepped out in faith for a job, a relationship, parenthood, a dream, or anything like that if we had the option to tell God we weren't ready and that He had to stop for us? I think about the blessings I would have missed if I waited to feel "ready" for so many of the situations, experiences, ministries, etc. that God placed before me. Whether I'm finished with last fall's yard work or not, God's going to raise those plants out of the ground, even if I'm not ready. He's going to keep doing what He does, and it's up to me whether to go along with Him and enjoy the growth and the blossoms that come from a life cultivated by Him.

Mommy

This is my Mommy. Her boyfriend Andy took this photo of her on their first date about 16 years or so ago. She was so beautiful, and this is her in her signature white leggings and big hair. She passed away last Wednesday after battling cancer for almost a year and a half. And yes, I still called her Mommy. She called her mother Mommy, and my daughter still calls me Mommy. And I hope it stays that way! My mother would have been 66 next Friday. My son, her oldest grandchild, shares that birthday with her. For my mom's 60th birthday, we had a surprise party, and we all wrote a tribute to read to her. I can find no better words for my mom than what I wrote then. So I'm posting it here as a tribute to her now. If you don't read it because of the length, I understand, but I think you'll be missing out if you don't!

Mommy,

One time I told you the one thing I remember you teaching me was “You have to suffer to be beautiful.” And you said- “That’s the only thing?”

When I think of that, I also remember sitting in the bathroom while you put your makeup on and did your hair. That was “our time.” It took you awhile to get yourself “ready” so we always had a lot of time to talk then. I don’t remember what we talked about, but I remember enjoying that time.

Mom, you did teach me about a lot more than hair and makeup. You taught me how to dance. We used to dance almost every night. Motown, Oldies, Led Zeppelin, Steppinwolf, you name it. I remember this one song “Crazy Little Momma” that Donna and I liked. She and I used to take turns hiding in a closet, and when you opened the door, we would pop out and shuffle around like an old lady pecking everything with our hands. I guess that was our interpretation of the song. I remember watching the “Tom Jones Show” and we would all swoon and then when he danced we would dance and try to do that back and forth head swinging thing he did. I think we all mostly just got a headache from trying! We always had the coolest mom in the neighborhood.

You taught me how to appreciate beautiful things. Like flowers. You loved flowers and loved growing things outside. Shrubs, vegetables, flowers, whatever. Now I love that too. I love to have cut flowers in my house and I think of you every time I have them.

One of my very favorite smells is the smell of the air right after a spring rain. You always loved that smell. And I think of you when I smell it. I do not drink coffee. But I love waking up to the smell because it reminds me of being small and waking up and smelling coffee brewing and knowing that you were already up.

Now let me pause here to tell you some of the things I don’t remember liking. You drove too slow. When we were late for school, you never drove faster. You were spunky and high energy- but you drove too slow! You wouldn’t let us have a gerbil. We couldn’t understand why you didn’t like the cute little critters. So one day after Debbie Fisher’s gerbils had babies we figured if you saw one, you would think they were as cute as we did. So we brought some of them home in a cookie tin, so you wouldn’t know what it was until we opened it. I guess you were really expecting there to be cookies in that tin because- well let’s just say that everyone within a 3 block radius knew we scared the living daylights out of you. And we knew never to ask again. And you didn’t like when I wore flannel shirts and Boones Farm t-Shirts and canvas boy’s sneakers. I thought I looked pretty cool but you didn’t. So how come a few years later you let me wear enough blue eye shadow to light up a third world country- what was up with that?!

You taught me to take time to laugh. Remember those little talent shows we would have right after dinner when our father was at work? Donna’s hand attacking her from around the corner, and my imitations of Lisa Mott? “Hi- my name’s Lisa MOTT!” I wonder what ever happened to her?

You taught us that if all else fails, SHOP! We spent a lot of time in stores, usually with Aunt Leslie. Two Guys, Great Eastern, Modells, Brunswick Square Mall. I don’t think you bought a lot, but we did a lot of shopping!

And believe it or not, you actually taught us something about nature. Imagine that, a city girl like you. I remember you bring us many times to an automated dairy farm were we got to go inside and see the cows on a revolving platform, hooked up to milk machines. And we also went to some pig farm with hogs the size of bulls, at least that was the way they looked to me! And we used to ride up the Washington Rock and look out over the countryside. You were definitely creative in the ways you entertained us without spending money!

In your own way you even taught me about God. You let me know it was all right to ask questions and seek God. That it was okay to not just accept my parent’s way of believing in God. Because of that I always knew God loved me and that has gotten me through a lot of rough times.

One thing I think we taught each other a lot about is forgiveness. We had to forgive each other a lot of things. But we did and we came away a lot better for it. You’ve been there for me through a lot of stuff, and you have been a great listener and you always let me know everything I said and felt was valid. And that means a great deal to me.

In our first life together we had a lot of fun and great times, and now in our second life we are doing the same. How many people can say they went to a Springsteen concert with their mom! Remember the drunken woman on the train! She really liked you Mom! And what about going to the flower show and the crazy woman on the street that swore she knew you. Boy, you attract some interesting people! And then we went to the Hard Rock for lunch.

So what I guess I’m trying to say is you were a great mom by just being you and showing us how to enjoy life. You taught me about the spiritual things in life and not to take the beauty of the world for granted. And when you said, “you have to suffer to be beautiful” I guess what we never thought about is that sometimes the suffering part of life helps us to be more beautiful on the inside too. And : We always knew we had a cool mom, and we still do!

Love,

Annette March 23, 2003

Joy in the Storms of Life

First, to everyone who has prayed for my niece Maria, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Two weeks before the surgery, a MIBG scan showed no sign of neuroblastoma anywhere else in Maria's body outside of the tumor. However, the scan indicated a malignant tumor. The doctors confirmed with my sister and her husband that the baby did have cancer, and that what was important would be the biopsy results. Not if there was cancer, but whether it was a low risk or high risk form of neuroblastoma, and if it was the high risk form, would they find a genetic link that would have far reaching implications for the rest of the family as well as Maria's prognosis.

I knew God could change the tumor. But would He? In spite of the test results, I asked for continued prayers that the tumor would be benign. I just could not get my brain around the possibility that God would bring Maria into the world so unexpectedly (My sister was taking birth control pills when Maria was conceived! With no mistakes about taking them!) then bring her safely into the world through a high risk and difficult pregnancy, only to take her back to Him again. I know it happens. But it was too hard to think about.

Four days after the surgery, the surgeon called to say that the pathology showed a 75% benign tumor with 25% percent low risk neuroblastoma nodules. Essentially, it was considered a benign tumor!!! The oncologist concurred and said that Maria would not need additional treatment, that there was no expectation of a recurrence of any cancer, and that all that they would do was follow her for the next few years for safety's sake.

Not long before last month I came across a question in a Bible study asking to me reflect on a time that God caused a real miracle in my life. I'm sure God works the miraculous in my life everyday. However, I really couldn't think of any outright miracle of the sort the study was referring to. Well, I can go back and re-answer that question, because I truly believe because of all the prayer being offered up on Maria's behalf, God intervened. There was no medical reason to expect this result. I know that God doesn't always say "YES" when we ask Him to intervene in this way. But this time He did. And I am so grateful, and I give Him ALL the glory. So does my sister and my brother-in-law.

I wish I could say the storm is over. But it's not. My mother is still terminally ill. There are very difficult dynamics involved with other extended family who are also involved with her care. There has been deceit, mistrust, manipulation, and accusations of all kinds. There is a lack of motivation on my mother's part to take care of the legal issues involved that will protect her when she can no longer care for herself and to see that her final wishes are respected and carried out.

By yesterday afternoon, I was having an emotional breakdown. The last few months have been like trying to get out of the ocean, and even though you are close to the shore, the waves keeping coming, knocking you down, taking your breath away, and stealing your strength. Have you ever gotten caught by a wave in knee deep water? You know you can stand, you know you are near dry land, but the wave keeps pulling you under the water and tossing you until you don't know if you are right-side-up or up-side-down. That's what I have felt like lately. And yesterday, I washed up on the beach, completely depleted, no strength, no breath.

And unfortunately, I knew I had to get back into the water again. I had to willingly go back into the storm. And as I sat quietly on my sofa, feeling like I was washed up on the beach and completely drained, something remarkable happened. I suddenly gained a complete sense of peace, resolve, and strength. I realized that some of the waves I was struggling with were my own fears that I let take control. I immediately dealt with some things that 5 minutes before I didn't not think I could do. And all the while, I said to my sisters that God would give me what I needed when I needed it to tackle what I couldn't just minutes before.

Now to some of you, this may not seem remarkable. We know as Christians that God can do this in our lives. He's done this for me before. But each time it happens, it still amazes me. In a moment, God changes everything. The situation didn't change, but everything in me changed. And while in that moment, I truly felt nothing but a feeling that someone else was moving me and speaking through me, now I feel complete joy that God blessed me that way. And especially because at the moment I was too wrapped up in my own emotions to take the time to ask Him for help.

Joy in the midst of chaos!

It's been a little over 2 weeks since my sister and her family have been staying at our house during Maria's treatment at CHOP. It's been quite chaotic at times....since then Maria was unexpectedly hospitalized for three days with respiratory problems after a test... My mother has been in the hospital for treatment for her cancer... My daughter Mallory has had foot surgery. There has be a lot of stress and anxiety...sleepless nights, and temper tantrums (the kids...but the grown-ups have been tempted!)

In spite of the sheer weight of the situation, we've managed to get through many tough hours and days by counting our blessings and finding humor where we can.

I can't tell you how many cartons of ice cream, trays of Stouffers Mac and Cheese, packages of Perdue Dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, pounds of grapes, boxes of Frosted Flakes, boxes of Eggo Chocolate, Chocolate Chip Muffin Tops, and Quaker Chewy granola bars we've been through! Pretty soon Shop-Rite is going to create an express lane just for me and my sister!

With all of the craziness, there have been many moments of joy. I've gotten to spend time with my "baby sister" and my nieces and nephews and my brother in law...who is actually working from here. I've been to the movies to see "Hotel for Dogs" with Sofia and Anthony. We've gone to the Adventure Aquarium. We also went shopping at Toys-R-Us...that almost made me boo hoo as I remembered bringing my own little ones there to shop for toys and things.

Maria has figured out how to blow raspberries, she's learning to clap, she's sitting up by herself well, and today she crawled...backwards...but she was motoring! And the biggest event was that she spent an hour and half with me and Mallory tonight...whether her mommy and daddy were in the room or not! Of course, two days before she goes back to the hospital she gets used to us! The poor little girl has not wanted to be held by anyone else since she went to the ER almost a month ago.

We are finding humor in anything we can. When Mallory had foot surgery, she really couldn't walk on her own and I couldn't carry her...and she needed to use the bathroom! Vince was holding the baby because Lorraine was at ...Shop Rite of course...and Dave was at work. So...I got the old faithful little red wagon and pulled her around the house in that! We had quite the laugh as she did the beauty queen wave while I pulled her around.

We had visits with friends and family, cards, gifts, and fruit delivered to the house. People are praying across the country and the world for Maria. The love and concern that has been shown to us all has lifted us and blessed us.

Maria is having surgery on Friday..less than 48 hours from now. The doctors have told Lorraine and Vince that the tumor is almost certainly malignant. But Maria's prognosis is excellent due to her age, the location of the tumor, and that all of the tests she's had show no cancer anywhere else in her body. I'm still praying that the tumor will be benign, please pray that too. And if it is cancer, please pray that the surgery will be the only treatment she will need. Please pray for the surgery itself to go well, and for Maria's body to heal well and quickly. Pray for comfort and peace for Lorraine, Vince and the rest of the family as Maria goes into surgery.

Thank you for your prayers! Knowing others are praying for us has brought me great joy.

Maria update

A lot has changed since my last post about Maria. She was scheduled to be at CHOP this past Wednesday for an injection of contrast dye for an MIBG scan on Thursday. Because it took 5 tries to get the line into her little arm, they decided to leave the port in and sent her back home (home meaning my house) with this little Velcro gizmo in her arm to protect it. For everything this little girl has been through, for some reason, this thing didn't bother her! It did have a scratchy edge on it, so I improvised with the tube of a sock to protect her little face after we notice she scratched herself. Here is what she looked like on Wednesday night.

































Thursday, Vince and Lorraine took her back to CHOP for the test. Originally, the radiologist was going to sedate Maria for the scan, but when they realized that the tumor was pressing up against the windpipe, they decided not to do that because the sedative relaxes the muscles around the windpipe. They were concerned about too much airway constriction. Her lungs were completely clear, so they opted to give her general anesthesia. After she came out of that, she has some bronchial spasms and she was put on oxygen. That was Thursday night. The surgery was scheduled for Friday morning. In the morning, the surgeon decided it was best to push back the surgery for two weeks. Originally, he was very adamant that the surgery be ASAP, but he said that he was very comfortable waiting 2 more weeks to be sure the RSV was all cleared up, and that Maria was going to be "just fine." He hinted he had seen some preliminary test results, but said that the oncologist would be in to talk to Lorraine and Vince. They were hopeful that his change of attitude meant good news. And, praise God, all of the tests she had showed no presence of cancer anywhere else in her body. It's very likely the tumor is a neuroblastoma, but the oncologist again stressed that if all went the way she expected, the surgery would be the end of it, no other treatment would be necessary.

Unfortunately..it's now Saturday night and Maria is still there. Her respiration has been too rapid on and off since then, and she's been on and off oxygen. By this afternoon, the doctors were thinking more and more that the problem has more to do with the tumor pressing against the windpipe than anything else. They cultured Maria again for RSV and other respiratory viruses, but they don't expect to find anything because her lungs are clear and her nose is dry. The doctors say that there is no way to know if it's the tumor causing the breathing problems until it's removed and they see what happens. Tomorrow they will again re-evaluate, if her breathing is still irregular, she'll remain until Monday, at which time they will review all of the tests and the surgeon will decide if the surgery needs to be moved up again.

My poor sister has been at CHOP since Thursday with the same clothes...my brother-in-law stayed the first night, but has been back here the last two nights. They thought that both days she was coming home, so he didn't bring anything back for my sister. Tonight, she was going to come home and Vince would stay, but since it's such a critical night, she wanted to be there. So tomorrow, he's bringing Lorraine's stuff back with him...maybe it will be like bringing an umbrella and then it doesn't rain!

If Maria is discharged, my sister and her family will still stay here until the surgery so they are not two and a half hours away from CHOP. We've got plenty of room and I think everyone feels better knowing they can be close by.

I've been on "Aunt Annette" duty since Wednesday. I'm resurrecting all of my mommy skills...I've stocked up with chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, I'm giving baths again and kissing boo boos. We went to see "Hotel for Dogs" yesterday, and today we went to the Aquarium. My niece and nephew, who up until Thursday night, have NEVER spent the night without at least one parent in their entire lives, have been troopers. I think their parents are amazed, and I think God has a lot of angels here with Sofia and Anthony.

...And on top of this, our mom, who has cancer, went into the hospital yesterday. She's been in a lot of pain and they need to get it under control. Fortunately, my other sister and my brother were able to go see her today.

But still, there is joy because God is so good. If Maria hadn't gotten the RSV, who knows when they would have found this tumor. And she's in the best hospital in the country for children. And they can stay close even if she is discharged because I live nearby.

Your prayers are working. The test results have been good. If the tumor is malignant, it was caught in time before if became a bigger problem. And her general health is improving so she will be ready for surgery hopefully sooner than later. Thank you for your prayers. My sister knows this is out there and so many people are praying. And she believes prayer works.

Pray for Maria

I'm not sure how often I'm going to be posting over the next week or so, if at all. I've been asking for prayers for my niece Maria. Here's her situation. I ask you to keep her and her family in prayer.

Maria is 7 months old. The pediatrician sent her to the ER about 10 days ago because she was very sick. She was diagnosed with RSV, which is a respiratory infection common in infants. Part of the treatment in the ER was a routine chest x-ray. The next day the ER doc contacted my sister Lorraine to say there appeared to be an abnormality on the x-ray that they wanted to take a closer look at. After ultra-sound and CT scan the doctor confirmed that there was a tumor. She met with a surgeon who told her it was a"neurogenic" tumor that needed to be removed sooner than later. He could not say whether it was benign or malignant. The surgery was scheduled at a children's hospital in North Jersey and would have been today as long as Maria was well enough. The immediate concern, besides the obvious, was that the surgeon told Lorraine and her husband Vince that he would have to deflate the lung in Maria's chest in order to remove the tumor.

After much discussion within the family, Lorraine and Vince decided to seek a second opinion at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. The appointment was set, and the scheduled surgery postponed. Because of the logistics, Vince was going to stay up in N. Jersey with the other kids, Sofia and Anthony, and Lorraine would come here so that I could take her to CHOP.

Maria's appointment was with the Surgeon in Chief of Pediatric General, Thoracic, and Fetal Surgery. (Of course Lorraine checked his credentials once she found out who the appointment was with. They are excellent.) After looking at the CT Scan, the surgeon came in and said that he was going to very upfront. He suspected a neuroblastoma, which is a malignant tumor on the neurogenic spectrum. My poor sister looked like someone dropped a piano on her head. Fortunately he very quickly went on to say that because of Maria's age and the location of the tumor, conditions for a cure were "very favorable." He explained the procedure, noted some possible affects of the surgery because the tumor is located within the "sympathetic nervous system," and answered all of her questions. Lorraine asked about Maria's lung being deflated and he told her that he saw no need to do that. It was an answered prayer. He told Lorraine that should she decide to schedule the surgery at CHOP, he would get her in immediately to see an oncologist and someone from anesthesiology. The oncologist would explain more about neuroblastoma, and possibly set up further diagnostic tests so if the tumor was malignant, everything would be in place if further treatment was necessary. The anesthesiology department would evaluate Maria's breathing and make any necessary adjustments to her breathing treatments prior to surgery. After calling Vince, they decided to go ahead and schedule at CHOP. Not only did this surgeon have much more specific information than was given at the other hospital, but they immediately addressed Maria's overall care. CHOP is the best, and why not have the best?

The surgery is scheduled for this coming Friday, as long as the anesthesiologist is satisfied that Maria's lungs are clear enough to safely anesthetize her.

The oncologist we saw was wonderful. She asked what the surgeon had told Lorraine so far, and Lorraine said that he was very sure it was a neuroblastoma. Her response was, "I'm not so sure about that." She talked about the full spectrum of neurogenic tumors, and said this could be anywhere on the scale. If it is malignant, she also said that because of Maria's age and location of the tumor, it was very possible that the surgery would resolve the whole thing. This kind of cancer in infants usually doesn't have to be treated further if the tests show it was contained in the original tumor. She went on to say that when most patients come in to see her for the initial consult, she is ready to discuss the treatment that she thinks would be best post-op. However, in this case she was very hopeful, and she saw no need to "even go there" and worry Lorraine about things that may not even need to happen. She said if Maria was 5 years old, they would be having a very different conversation. In order to get the best possible overall picture of Maria's situation, the oncologist recommended some diagnostic test before and during surgery to rule out cancer anywhere else, so that by the time the biopsy results came in 4 to 5 days after surgery, they would know everything they need to know.

There is no known cause for these tumors. The doctor says that nothing Lorraine did or was exposed to during pregnancy would have caused this. They don't even know if babies are born with these tumors, or if they develop after birth. Sometime these tumors can start out as malignant, and become benign! But no one's going to wait around to see if that happens!

Maria will have to visit CHOP on Wednesday and Thursday for tests, and hopefully surgery Friday, and about a 3 day recovery afterward. The whole family will be staying here for the duration, my sister of course will stay in the hospital from surgery until the time the baby is discharged.

I get take care of my niece and nephew, who, of course, are both anxious. But I promised them that we would have a big party and do lots of stuff the entire time we are here! I've stocked up with goodies, and planned lots of activities...so we are all good to go! In some ways, this is much easier, because I don't have to worry about Mallory's school schedule, and Dave's travel schedule, and coordinate that with being up north with the kids. We are all here, Vince will be here to tuck them into bed at night. Maria's getting the best care available. So that's all good.

Please pray for Maria. Pray for the tumor not to be malignant at all. Pray for Lorraine and Vince when they have to watch Maria wheeled out for surgery. Pray for God to bless them all with the best. We know God can do anything.

Lists

I don't know whether it's hormones, all of the stress going on around me, that 25 things list, reconnecting with people on Facebook...or a combination...but I am feeling very melancholy right now, and I've been thinking of things I miss, or don't miss, and more "lists" keeping running through my mind. So please indulge me as I send these thoughts out into the world.

(If you don't want to read the post, at least go to the end and watch the video.)

There's no great lesson in this other than it proves the wisdom of Solomon who wrote:
"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1

Things I miss:
1. Living down the street from both of my grandmothers.
2. Going to the store around the corner and buying candy for a penny.
3. Living someplace small enough where you know almost everyone, and everyone knows you.
4. Catching lightning bugs.
5. Riding my bicycle at night in the summer and not having to be afraid.
6. Playing badminton and Frisbee in the backyard with my dad.
7. Sitting and talking with my mom while she put on her make-up.
8. Having my own real-live baby doll in the form of my sister who is 10 years younger than me.
9. Being able to ride my bicycle anywhere in town.
10. My senior year in high school.
11. The first summer Dave and I dated.
12. Writing letters back and forth with Dave while he was at school in Syracuse, NY and I was at school in New Jersey.
13. Weekend road trips Dave and I took before we had kids.
14. My babies' first smiles.
15. My babies from 6 to 18 months when they were soaking up the world in huge gulps!
16. Walking my babies in their strollers and discovering the world.
17. Halloweens with the DeStefano family.
18. Tucking the kids into bed at night...prayers, songs, making Mallory's Cabbage Patch Doll "Alana" pray and making up silly songs with Steven.
19. Steven bringing home pine cones and rocks for me. (I still have the pine cones.)
20. Mallory drawing me pictures. (I still have those too.)
21. Steven riding "shotgun" with me in the car and two of us singing songs together.
22. Mallory telling me she will always live with me...or next door at most!
23. Reading to my kids.
24. Dressing Mallory up in cute clothes and hair ribbons.
25. Youth group trips with Steven.
26. Game nights during our family vacations on Long Beach Island.
27. The time all four of us spend in the car together...rare...but it seems like old times.


Things I don't or won't miss:
1. Living someplace small enough where you know almost everyone, and everyone knows you. (Yes I know this was under things I miss...but it was both a blessing and a curse.)
2. Always being among those picked last for any game in gym class.
3. The summer after my freshman year in high school when I didn't have anyone to hang around with.
4. My parents getting a divorce.
5. Feeling different because my family was so different from everyone else's family.
6. Moving from the town I spent most of my growing up years right after I graduated high school.
7. My senior year in college. (And if I'm being honest, I don't miss my sophomore year either.)
8. Having my parents hate one another and trying to plan a wedding with all of that going on.
9. Not having my mother at my wedding.
10. Not having my mother with me when my children were born.
11. Potty Training. (My kids...I don't remember whether or not I liked being potty trained!)
12. The times my kids said, "I hate you." or "I don't want to live here." (Or when I can tell that's what they are thinking.)
13. Times that I failed my kids.
14. Living in a small condo for the 9 months our house was under construction.
15. Depression
16. Fighting with Mallory
17. Watching my son drive off in a car without me.
18. Not being able to keep my kids from being hurt, even at church.
19. I-pods in my kids ears in the car.
20. Watching my daughter having her heart broken.
21. Leaving Steven at college when I know he wanted to get back in the car and come home.
22. Watching my teenage kids make choices that hurt them, and knowing I can't do anything about it.
23. Regrets that I wished that they would grow up.
24. Hurting because they are grown up and I can never get the time I wished away back.
25. Feeling like I can't get "it" right.
26. Watching my kids struggle with their faith in God and their relationship with the church.

Things I enjoy now at this time in my life:
1. Not needing a babysitter.
2. Having time to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.
3. Watching Mallory on stage.
4. Watching Steven learning to be responsible for himself.
5. Going to the shore...alone.
6. Reading books all year, not just on vacation.
7. Feeling like I've grown as a person.
8. Growing flowers.
9. Feeding the birds.
10. Having time to write a blog.
11. Friends that I can depend on.
12. A great marriage.
13. Special times when the four of us are together.
14. Mallory still calls me "Mommy" sometimes.
15. Mallory and I have a relationship I wasn't sure we'd ever have.
16. Hugs from my son who is much bigger than I am now.
17. Talking about the future with Dave.
18. Seeing how well mannered and helpful and giving my children can be.
19. Watching my kids take satisfaction in a job well done.
20. Watching my kids accomplish things they want to, and things they didn't know that they could.
21. The moments I feel that I got at least some of "it" right.
22. Eating breakfast on the deck in the summer.
23. Hot tea and cookies in the winter.
24. Having a good relationship with all 3 of my parents.
25. Knowing that no matter how bad things have ever been, my parents, siblings, andI have stuck together.
26. Doing ministry work at my church.
27. I drive something other than a mini-van now.
28. Being sure of who God is.
29. Being sure that I belong to Him.
30. Knowing (sometimes) when to get out of the way and let God do His will.
31. That Steven and Mallory are very close.

Things I hope for and look forward to in the future:
1. Traveling with Dave.
2. Finding a new identity as something other than "full time mom."
3. The hope that someday I'll be able to "look back and laugh" and wonder why I was so worried.
4. Watching my own children parent their children, and hopefully have some wisdom to offer if and when they ask.
5. Continued spiritual growth.
6. Less house cleaning!
7. Not being held captive by my monthly cycle.
8. Not losing sleep waiting to hear a child come home when curfew is after my bedtime.
9. My 50th Wedding Anniversary.
10. Heaven

If you've read this far, thank you for indulging me. And I'm sorry if I send any of you into the melancholy state I'm in! But if I have, please feel free to comment back with some of your thoughts.

Please pause the playlist and take a few minutes to watch this video clip. This one of my favorite songs...Chris Rice, "Life Means So Much." I haven't been able to get the song for the playlist. But for this post it's a must have.

I used to....

I joined Facebook last week. Several friends at church suggested I do it...and I thought, "Just another thing for me to do." But everyone seemed to be having a lot of fun with it, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. And it has been fun! So far, in less than a week, I have 75 friends!

What has really been wonderful is the people who have "found" me! Three people who were very important to me at particular times in my life, who for whatever reason I lost contact with, have reconnected with me. I know two of them actually searched for me, which makes me feel good. Will we really reconnect? I don't know. But it's good to know they still think about me like I think about them. I wonder why we lost touch in the first place? Why did God send me down different roads than some of the people I thought I could never lose touch with?

The last couple of days on Facebook there has been a fun thing circulating among my friends called "25 Random Things About Me." I wrote mine...of course much more wordy than most everyone else's...talk a lot...write a lot...something everyone already knows about me!

What I noticed when I was reading some of the lists my friends wrote, as well as my own, was there were a number of comments like, "I used to do...." "I used to be..." "I want to do..." For some reason I started thinking about those comments. Add to that the people I "used to be" so close to. And I began to think about the path God leads us down in our lives, and where we go and what we do when we take the wheel, or when we let God do the driving.

This morning, I checked on Pattie's blog, and she posted this really neat poem about guidance. It's called "Dancing With God." There's a great analogy in it, and I'm not going to try to summarize it here, other than to say it tied in perfectly with what I've been mulling over since last night. So click on the word "poem" above and read it for yourself.

Most of our "used to's" and "want to's" came from the fact that right now we are mothers, and sometime I think we feel that motherhood is an interruption of what we really wanted to do...especially on difficult days! I remember reading somewhere a woman talking about that, and how she wondered what her purpose in life is while she was washing the dishes after a long day of mothering and taking care of the house. It occurred to her that there was no reason to think that God's purpose for her at that moment in time was to be...washing the dishes! Right now, her purpose was to be a mother. I know that's no big revelation, but I know I forget that sometimes. Recently, one of our Elder's wives shared with us that she now believes her main purpose in life was to be the mother of one particular child out of her children.

I'm also thinking of our latest American hero, Capt. "Sully" Sullenberger who landed that plane perfectly in the Hudson River. Many times it's been reported that he learned to fly at 14, he has flown in the Air Force, piloted jets for US Airways since 1980, owns a consulting firm that specializes in airline emergencies, studied the psychology of airline emergencies, and in his spare time is a certified glider pilot! He and many others have said that his life was a preparation for that exact moment in time that he had to land that plane. Maybe Sully wanted to do different things at some point in his life. And if he had, would he have been able to land a plane with no engine power in a river in a way that spared the lives of every person on board?

How many of us will ever know those exact moments in time that God has been preparing them for? Is it one great moment, or many "everyday" moments?

There are many things I would like to do, things I wish I could continued to do, things I wish I never did, or never happened. As a Christian, I have to decide every moment whether or not to "dance with God." Sometimes I'm sure God "cut in" and danced with me whether I liked it or not! The longer I have been a Christian, the more I can see how my past experiences prepare me for situations that meet me in life. Sometimes it's a repeat, and I know what I did last time helps me to handle it better this time. Sometimes it SO obvious that God has prepared me for an exact moment in time that I know without a doubt that I can confidently allow Him to direct me. And what He usually tells me is to rely on what He's taught me in the past, whether I drove, or He drove. And something that would have sent me into a tailspin not long ago, I can now face with peace.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way, walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

For this God is our God forever and ever; he will be our guide until the end." Psalm 48:14

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Today joy is.....

Today was not a good day. I woke up with several things heavy on my heart...my mother's cancer may be advancing, my brother's marriage is failing, my sister's 7 month old daughter was going to the hospital for some testing. Not long after my daughter got to school she sent me a text message (yeah..I know...she's not supposed to be texting from school, but oh well, it works for us) that her art teacher, who she has had every year in high school, and who she is fond of, had to take a indefinite leave of absence due to what is probably an completely false accusation. It seems like students are catching on that they can accuse a teacher of anything, even something that everyone else in the room can refute, and that teacher is "poof"...gone.

I arrived at our Tuesday morning Bible class with my heavy heart. Well, something must have been in the air today because for over a half hour we all shared our burdens. So many people had things to share today. Illness, legal issues, family dynamics, theft, financial issues. Everything shared wasn't bad, but it seemed especially heavy today.

Mal is getting another job and had to get a copy of the working papers she had on file at school...only to find out that a school secretary couldn't find the copy of her working papers...with her SS# and copy of birth certificate attached ...unbelievable in this day and age of identity theft. A phone call from "mommy" to someone who was willing to persuade the secretary to look again took care of that...shortly after, mommy received a phone call from a very apologetic school secretary letting me know that the papers turned up....at least that was taken care of. But it was aggravating because the school district had somehow lost SS#'s for my kids before, and I had to provide proof, and then later mixed their numbers up, and I had to provide proof again.

THEN I found out that my niece has a tumor behind her lung that has to be removed. So next week, my baby sister has to hand HER baby over to a surgeon who not only has to remove the tumor, but needs to deflate one of her lungs to do it...a baby that's already had some respiratory issues this winter. I am just sick to my stomach about this. A 7 month old baby should not have a tumor and should not have to have major surgery. My sister lives 2 hours away from me, and I am not there with her, and right now, I feel kind of helpless.

Tomorrow ( I know...tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own...that's what I'm afraid of!) my mom goes for all of the scans she has every few weeks to see what's going on with the cancer. The superficial tumor on her back that was removed less than 2 months ago is growing back...so I'm not optimistic.

But...you're saying...this blog is supposed to be about JOY! Well, it is. However, joy is not happiness. Joy is not a stress-free life.

Right now joy is that I know that God hears my cries and pleas, and knows my heartache. (Thank you Mike B. for the fantastic lesson you gave us on this topic last Sunday...) God also heard all of the concerns on the hearts of my sisters in Christ this morning.

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

Right now joy is that I was able to assure my sister who God is, and that He knows her pain and concern, and He feels it right along with her. I was able to assure her that it is not God who brings that kind of suffering.

From Psalm 145
"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." v. 8-9
"The Lord is faithful in all his promises and loving toward all he has made." v. 13b
"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made." v. 17

Right now joy is knowing that my mother and my niece both have access to excellent health care, and medical insurance to go with it.

Right now joy is that I can go to bed when I finish writing this, knowing that even though I am not there with my sister right now, even though I can't be around to do the little, spur of the moment thing she needs help with, I know I'm doing the most powerful thing I can do...I'm praying. And I'm asking everyone and anyone to pray for my niece Maria, my sister Lorraine, her husband Vince, and their other children, my niece Sofia and my nephew Anthony.

Right now joy is knowing that in the midst of all of this, I am richly blessed.

Maria

He knows me......

Last fall my son attended the final 2008 Presidential Debate, which took place at the college he is attending. He was in the same room, (okay, BIG room,) as the next President of the United States. It struck me then how few people ever get to say they are in the same room as the President.

Several years ago, my brother attended a function in Pennsylvania at which then President George W. Bush was the speaker. It was a much smaller room than the debate. He said that regardless of your political views, it was thrilling to be in the room with the President.

My friend Cordelia got up at the crack of dawn to attend a campaign rally for Barack Obama in Philadelphia. She was able to be in one of the first couple of rows and had the photos to prove it. She was so excited to have had that opportunity.

A couple of days ago, between one and two million people stood on the Parkway in Washington DC to be there when Barack Obama was inaugurated as our new president. Only the first few hundred, maybe a thousand, were probably close enough to actually see it with their own eyes, most of the rest could only watch it on the Jumbo Trons. And some people were happy just to be able to see the top of the Capitol Building in the distance. But nevertheless, they wanted to be in the same geographical area just to be near the historic event.

Somewhere, everyday, average, everyday people will go to see someone who is powerful or famous, someone they think they know all about, just to have a chance to be near them. Maybe they will get to shake hands, or get an autograph; or if they are really fortunate, the person will acknowledge them and speak to them. Miley Cirus, the Jonas Brothers, Queen Elizabeth, JK Rowling, Tiger Woods, Hillary Clinton, George Bush (H. or W.) ...famous, powerful people who are flocked by average Joes and Janes everyday. Even though we feel we know these people, chances are, they will never, ever know us.

All of this has me thinking how awesome, and I mean AWE-SOME, that we have complete access to someone even greater than any of those people: the Creator of all of those people....the Creator of EVERYTHING. We don't need to wait on line, or go through Secret Service security checks, or win a contest, or buy a ticket to meet with God wherever and whenever we want. But even better than that is that He KNOWS us. He knows us before we know him. Think about that......that ought to bring you some joy!

Scripture tells us over and over that God knows us, even better than we know ourselves. I found dozens of scriptures that confirm God's complete acquaintance with each one of us. Here are a few:

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you....." Jeremiah 1:5

"Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

"I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me-" John 10:14

And of course, there is Psalm 139. And that's what I'll leave you with to ponder. I'm not discounting the thrill of meeting someone famous. I'm just as impressed as the next person. But once in a while, I really think about how we get to know and be known by, and and do work for, the One and Only True Living God, the Creator, the Alpha and the Omega.......

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Complete.....

I have been particularly joyful the last few days because I finally feel like I'm completing all of the tasks, projects, responsibilities that I've had going for the last 6 months. The Master Gardener certification...check! The bookkeeping for the high school fall play....check! The Women's Retreat...check! Christmas...check, check, check!!! It feels SO good to be complete! Sure, there are some new things beginning, like the high school spring musical (Grease...Mal was cast as Frenchie! or is it Frenchy...anyway, you get it.) But it's been a LONG time since I felt like I was finished with everything that I had been doing before I started a new round of "projects." I've caught up with whatever correspondence I needed to write, I'm back on my blog, I've caught up reading the blogs I like to follow. Wow....this feels WONDERFUL!

Even though some stuff is complete, I'm not...and that REALLY makes me JOYFUL!!!! As a recovering perfectionist, my goal was not only to be finished, but to be finished on my time schedule, to finish with perfection, and to never have to re-do the work I've already completed. OH BOY...was that attitude a big giant X on the top of my head. I can just imagine God chuckling as Dan Copper dunked me in the baptismal. Not that I thought that baptism was the end of the journey, I knew I'd learn more about God's Word, but I thought I was pretty good just the way I was. What a heavenly ha ha that must have been! "Hey Gabriel, hey Michael...not only does this one think she's got it all under control, not only does she go by her own measure of 'perfection,' but she thinks one day she gonna wake up and she'll be this completed, all wise, all knowing Christian. She thinks those kind actually exist! This is going to be quite a shock to her!"

So God put me through a few "test" trials to see if I'd catch on before he had to hit me with the heavy artillery. Can you say stubborn! Every time I went through something and realized I actually LEARNED something and matured a little...I figured I had it all figured out. Then I'd do the same stupid things and get myself in the same situation, and I had to have a review and a retake of the test. Just when I thought I had that lesson down...something else would happen. Are you getting the picture?

Some how, some way, I caught on. Perfectionism, well I finally learned that my idea of perfectionism and God's are two different things. I thought I could reach perfection in all I did, even though I knew that I myself was not perfect. No logic there! Only a perfect being could "do" anything perfectly, so I had to learn to stop beating myself up everytime I failed in my own eyes. God has promised me I will be perfect someday, just not in this lifetime!

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

I LOVE that scripture! I LOVE that promise. I'm going to get there! And even better- it's not going to be because of anything I do, it's because of ONE THING Jesus did! He bore my imperfection. God's going to keep working on me in the meantime. And for some reason, even thought growth hurts, I've come to find joy in that. I can look back and see that God loves me enough to take the time to keep showing me that I can stretch and grow in ways that I never thought I could, or never knew I needed to. He'll patiently teach me the same lesson over and over if necessary, even though it's painful. I choose to surrender, and God takes care of the rest.

That's my only contribution... my choice to surrender. Making that choice did not come easy for me. But those "test" trials, they weren't just for God to see me in action...it was for me to see HIM in action. It was so I would learn to trust HIM before he laid the heavy stuff on me. And before the enemy launched attacks. And when I saw what God can do...it doesn't make the trials and battles less painful...but it does let me know that one way or another, I'll be standing with God at the end of it, whether that be here, or in the next life.

So when I was puttering around after church, completing a few last details from 2008, and enjoying it, Philippians 1:6 popped into my head, and then this blog post came out.

Also, take a look at Pattie's post for today. She thinking about the same kind of thing. Check out her current"theme" song, "Whatever You're Doing."


"Cause He's still workin' on me....."

Happy New Year!

NO...I have not abandoned my blog! I had gotten so bogged down with everything that I've been doing for the last 4 months that I pretty much crashed...not a joy filled experience. So I've taken the last couple of weeks to bite off on piece at a time in an effort to get back on track. The blog is one of the last pieces! And because I like to finish what I start, I'm post one last Christmas post before I convert my blog back to it's original format.

Here is a slide show with a few photos of our traditions like the annual ornament for the kids, Christmas eve jammies, Christmas morning, etc. I've included photos of the Santa Claus collection.
For those who have asked, Dave, the official church and family counter and accountant, has conducted an accurate census of the Santas. The official count....drum roll please...177! And I packed them away in record time...less than 4 hours! That's only because I took photos of the contents of every tub and box as I unpacked them and taped them to the lids!

Another item to complete in the promised Christmas posts is the story of My "Thing" about the Three Wise Men. I want to preface this by saying that I am not legalistic!!! However, we all have things that bug us, and for me it's the Wise Men....they WERE NOT there in on the night Jesus was born! So...in my house, they do not appear to be there on ornaments, cards I send, "Nativity Scenes" etc. I was aware at a very young age (thanks to my Jewish Grandmother who was a Jehovah's Witness...another story...) that the Biblical account makes it pretty clear that the Wise Men showed up a couple of years later. When I began to attend church again as an adult, I was attending a church whose members, I thought, were pretty "up" on their Biblical knowledge. Well one Christmas time, we were decorating the church sanctuary, and one of the "pillars" of the church had made silhouettes of the Three Kings approaching the life size Nativity scene we had set up behind the pulpit. I complemented her artwork, and said something like about the tradition of it even though they really weren't there the night Jesus was born. She said, "They weren't!?!" I was quite surprised to find out how few people there had read the Biblical account of Jesus closely enough to see that there is no mention of the Three Kings/Wise Men being in the stable on the night of Jesus birth.

SO....from then on, the Three Kings that came included in the Nativity set I had were set out in another room to make that point that THEY WEREN'T THERE! When we moved into our new house, I couldn't find a good place to put them, so I put them on top of the TV in the TV cabinet. I guess I didn't watch much TV in the living room at that time, because I forgot all about them found them in March! Now, my new set doesn't include the wise men, so it's not a problem for me anymore.

As I said, everyone has their "thing" and that's mine!

I want to wish all of you a Happy and Healthy New Year. Someone recently called it Divine 09 because we need to go into this year with an optimistic attitude. I agree. I also hope that all of the hardships turn into the blessing of bringing believers closer to God, and non-believers to embrace God. So have a JOY-FILLED DIVINE 09!!!