Lately I've been hearing people replace the term "in-law" with "in-love". For example, instead of saying someone is your daughter-in-law, you say your daughter-in-love. I like that, the idea that your relationship with your "married in" relatives is based in love, and not a legal designation of some sort. I've been blessed with great "in-loves" all around. I can say without a doubt that I could not have asked for a better Father-in-Love.
I was thinking about Dad this morning, specifically about him as a person, and the great memories, and the legacy he's leaving. Dad was a very simple man in many ways. For him a great gift was a heavy duty extension cord, a ladder, a pair of brown pants, or shirts to match brown pants. I can't even count the number of brown pants we've given Dad as gifts over the years! His Christmas list became a source of annoyance for us all, yet it was also a great laugh too! Dad had his quirks, and those things often made him the butt of the family jokes, but he took usually took it with a smile and laughed along with us. His corny jokes and one liners made us all role our eyes while Mom yelled "Ken!" But we would have been so disappointed if he didn't take advantage of the obvious opportunity to throw one out there. Yet he was witty enough to come up with "Tina Turner's Tiny Ta-Tas" in Scatagories.
Dad never missed a chance to complain about or make fun of his children and their spouses for their love of Bruce Springsteen. But he was also the person who taught us how to do the "Macarena." I honestly can't think of anything I laughed at harder in my entire life than the sight of Ken Perine doing the Macarena!
Dad had a love of the mundane....like license plates, coins, stamps, birds & state capitals. I couldn't understand the family obsession with keeping track of how many state's license plates they saw on a road trip, but before I knew it, I was playing right along with Dave when we hit the road. He loved his National Geographics, and years ago when he collected old ones, I found myself keeping my eyes out for them. When "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" hit the airwaves, and everyone in America was thinking about who would be their "Phone-A-Friend", Dad's love of what I once considered mundane put him a the top of my list. Of course there were those pesky 10 seconds you had to answer, and Dad always loved to throw in dramatic pauses when he was telling a story or giving an answer! And I also have embraced his love of having bird feeders in the yard and keeping track of the birds I see.
Dad was the first person I knew who mastered E-Bay when it first came into being. What a place to get his stamps and coins. So "the old guy" put us all to shame by embracing online shopping first in the family!
For years Dad came with us on the big family beach vacation...he did not like the beach. He usually made an appearance around Friday. In the meantime, he was happy to be the family go-fer. Give him a list, and he was a happy guy! I remember him going home to Freehold once to get a hose nozzle because none of us liked the one at the rental house. And he brought back goodies too, like Elephant Ears. For many years he stayed behind to babysit Dana, Pat, Steven and Mallory while the rest of the adults had our annual vacation night out at the Quarter Deck to see Backstreets. Then when Dana was old enough to be the babysitter, he even came with us!
No matter where Dad was, he always seemed to find the best pizza and ice cream. In LBI it was Panzone's and Honey Bubbles, and on OBX it was Cosmo's and Kill Devils. But his favorite was good old Dairy Queen soft serve chocolate. Speaking of ice cream, I never saw anyone make as quick work of a half gallon of ice cream as he did!
Dad was not one to express his feeling in words. But he did give world famous "new jammie squeezes" and bear hugs that could send you into a coma. He showed his love by always being willing to help with whatever he could. He helped Dave so many times when we were new homeowners, making special trips down to our house to help install a storm door and show Dave how to re-seat a toilet.
Dad always made me feel like part of the family. I was his favorite eldest daughter-in-law, but he also had a favorite youngest daughter-in-law too! He seemed to find a way to qualify everyone as his favorite in some chronological way! A year or so into my relationship with Dave, I found out he had another girlfriend at college when we first began dating. She was long gone by then, but I was not pleased. Years later when we laughed about it at some family gathering, Dad leaned over and said, "I was rooting for you." That meant a lot to me, and I always remembered it.
Dad helped shape the wonderful man that I am married to. He was a wonderful grandfather to my kids.
No one is perfect. And when someone passes from this life we tend to make them saints, and no really is a saint their whole life. But I can say, without a doubt, that I could not have had a better Father-In-Love then Ken Perine.
