Today joy is.....

Today was not a good day. I woke up with several things heavy on my heart...my mother's cancer may be advancing, my brother's marriage is failing, my sister's 7 month old daughter was going to the hospital for some testing. Not long after my daughter got to school she sent me a text message (yeah..I know...she's not supposed to be texting from school, but oh well, it works for us) that her art teacher, who she has had every year in high school, and who she is fond of, had to take a indefinite leave of absence due to what is probably an completely false accusation. It seems like students are catching on that they can accuse a teacher of anything, even something that everyone else in the room can refute, and that teacher is "poof"...gone.

I arrived at our Tuesday morning Bible class with my heavy heart. Well, something must have been in the air today because for over a half hour we all shared our burdens. So many people had things to share today. Illness, legal issues, family dynamics, theft, financial issues. Everything shared wasn't bad, but it seemed especially heavy today.

Mal is getting another job and had to get a copy of the working papers she had on file at school...only to find out that a school secretary couldn't find the copy of her working papers...with her SS# and copy of birth certificate attached ...unbelievable in this day and age of identity theft. A phone call from "mommy" to someone who was willing to persuade the secretary to look again took care of that...shortly after, mommy received a phone call from a very apologetic school secretary letting me know that the papers turned up....at least that was taken care of. But it was aggravating because the school district had somehow lost SS#'s for my kids before, and I had to provide proof, and then later mixed their numbers up, and I had to provide proof again.

THEN I found out that my niece has a tumor behind her lung that has to be removed. So next week, my baby sister has to hand HER baby over to a surgeon who not only has to remove the tumor, but needs to deflate one of her lungs to do it...a baby that's already had some respiratory issues this winter. I am just sick to my stomach about this. A 7 month old baby should not have a tumor and should not have to have major surgery. My sister lives 2 hours away from me, and I am not there with her, and right now, I feel kind of helpless.

Tomorrow ( I know...tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own...that's what I'm afraid of!) my mom goes for all of the scans she has every few weeks to see what's going on with the cancer. The superficial tumor on her back that was removed less than 2 months ago is growing back...so I'm not optimistic.

But...you're saying...this blog is supposed to be about JOY! Well, it is. However, joy is not happiness. Joy is not a stress-free life.

Right now joy is that I know that God hears my cries and pleas, and knows my heartache. (Thank you Mike B. for the fantastic lesson you gave us on this topic last Sunday...) God also heard all of the concerns on the hearts of my sisters in Christ this morning.

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4

Right now joy is that I was able to assure my sister who God is, and that He knows her pain and concern, and He feels it right along with her. I was able to assure her that it is not God who brings that kind of suffering.

From Psalm 145
"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." v. 8-9
"The Lord is faithful in all his promises and loving toward all he has made." v. 13b
"The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made." v. 17

Right now joy is knowing that my mother and my niece both have access to excellent health care, and medical insurance to go with it.

Right now joy is that I can go to bed when I finish writing this, knowing that even though I am not there with my sister right now, even though I can't be around to do the little, spur of the moment thing she needs help with, I know I'm doing the most powerful thing I can do...I'm praying. And I'm asking everyone and anyone to pray for my niece Maria, my sister Lorraine, her husband Vince, and their other children, my niece Sofia and my nephew Anthony.

Right now joy is knowing that in the midst of all of this, I am richly blessed.

Maria