Okay, as you can see, I've not kept up with this blog as planned. I knew this was going to be a hectic Christmas season for me with everything else I had going on during the fall, but it's been a bit worse than I had anticipated. As a matter of fact, there hasn't been a whole lot of JOY going on here for me! I've been downright cranky the last few days. Dave said I spend four weeks getting ready for this, and I'm lucky if I enjoy it for a week. My response: I'll be happy if I get a whole week of enjoyment! Normally, I enjoy the preparations, not just the day or week alone. I like shopping for gifts, I like wrapping, writing the cards, baking the cookies, decorating...etc. But this year hasn't been like that at all. I've been so busy the past week that the couple of times I had an opportunity to go to a Christmas program or party, I've missed it. So I'm cranky because I'm not enjoying what I usually enjoy. We had some friends over for dinner the other night, it was the first time I got to actually relax at all and enjoy some of the fruit of my labors.
I could go on and on here, but I won't because this blog is supposed to be about joy, not complaining. One of the things I tried to impart in my joy "class" a few years ago was that it's times like these that it's important to pause and find the joy in the little things. So I'm going to pause and find some joy!
1. I am done gift shopping! Okay, I have two more gift cards to pick up, but that's easy. And I've stayed within budget! YIPPIE!!!
2. The Christmas cards are out! A bit late, but they are done. I like to personally write in my cards, even if only to write out the names of the recipients inside the card, sign all our names and wish a Merry Christmas. I like to specifically think about the people I'm sending them to. Dave does the stamps and the return address labels, and we get to reminisce about people we haven't seen in a while.
3. The gifts are wrapped! Now that's something I haven't had done before Christmas Eve lately, so I'm ahead of the game!
4. My family is healthy and my husband has a new job. God is good! No, God is AWESOME!
So for the next two days, I'm going to shop for food, bake cookies and make candy, make some meatballs, and clean up my house. I'm not going to enjoy all of that, especially the food shopping and cleaning! But I'm going to take my own advice and find the joy in all of the little things where ever and when ever I can. Hope you can do the same!
Christmas is a time of family traditions. Think of some of yours...are you smiling??? I'll bet you are!The first tradition that comes to mind when I think of my own childhood are the pj's Santa would drop off at our house on Christmas Eve. I guess I got those until the time I was 12-ish. Well like many things, that tradition as snowballed with my kids, nieces and nephews. Pretty much from the time my son was born, Christmas Eve was at my Dad's house. So when Steven was 1, Santa personally delivered his jammies. After that, my dad was concerned that his very dark beard was not being sufficiently covered by Santa's white beard, so Santa would knock on the door, the reindeer would jingle their bells, and the pj's would be waiting at the door. My son is almost 20, and my daughter is 16, and Santa will still be delivering their jammies to Amma and Pop-pop's house this year! My daughter has informed me that Santa better keep bringing those jammies as long as she lives at home. Knowing the Santa who lives in my house, it might continue after that! One of Dave's family traditions is that you have to guess what you gift is. This was hard for me because I really enjoy being surprised. But over the years it's gotten to be more fun. For years Dave's uncle would guess "toilet paper." So one year we wrapped some up and gave it to him. Dave's brother was such a good guesser when he was younger that one year I wrapped up a brick with his gift to throw him off. I've also been known to wrap really small gifts in really big boxes! When the entire clan used to get together there were so many people and so many gifts that it would take HOURS to get through it! We'd eat, open for hours, and eat again. This isn't something that we do on Christmas morning in our own home. But we really enjoy it when Dave's family gets together to celebrate Christmas.
Something else Dave's family does that we've adopted is the orange in the toe of the stocking. I had never heard of it before the Perines came into my life, but apparently it's a pretty common thing. Another tradition from my family is that the mom hands out the gifts one by one on Christmas morning. That's because Santa always whispers what each gift is into the mom's ear when she is sleeping. To this day, my kids are amazed that I remember what is in each package. Truth be told, it's getting harder to remember by Christmas morning!
Up until I was about 7 or 8 years old, Santa brought our Christmas tree. It would show up on Christmas morning with the gifts. I told you my family is Christmas crazy! My parents did it again for a few years when my younger brother and sister were born.
A completely new tradition I started with my own kids is that every year I get them an ornament that represents something from the year. (Sometimes it's more than one ornament!) When I couldn't find what I wanted, I made them. Steven now has 20 Christmases of ornaments, and at this point he's really not that into decorating the tree! Since he's at college now when the tree goes up, I put up most of his and leave a few for him to put on when he gets home. I like that when my kids leave home for good, they will take a big box of ornaments with them that are full of memories.
Dave and I have always bought ornaments from anywhere we've traveled. Sometimes he will bring them home with him when he's been on a business trip. I also collect "nativity ornaments." But they can only have Jesus, Mary and Joesph...NO wisemen! I'll tell you about that in another post!
I could go on and on, and maybe some other time I will. I would really love if you would comment back to me and share some of your favorite traditions!
I'm back...again! Okay, now that the Women's Retreat is over, I can really get down to the business of Christmas.
Now before I go any further, I do want to say that I do appreciate the spiritual side of Christmas. Even though there is no proof that it's the actual birth date of Jesus, I enjoy celebrating the arrival of our Savior here on earth. When my kids were little, we often had a birthday cake for Jesus. Yes, I'm aware of all of the "pagan" customs that influenced the way we celebrate Christmas. I have been very careful with my kids, as well as with myself, to know what is of God, and what is man made, and I enjoy those man made customs just for the fun that they are.
I do love all of the traditional things that go along with the Christmas season even though most have nothing to do with Jesus . And one of those things is SANTA CLAUS! The older I get, the more I love Santa, I think because of the childlike wonder that goes along with the myth. I DO believe in Santa, not as a person, but the spirit of giving that goes along with it. There's just something about Santa Claus that makes me happy.
If you don't already know, I collect Santas. I probably have about 150 or so, I haven't conducted a census yet this year. I gave Mallory that job a couple of years ago, because it seemed important to her to know how many there were. But Mallory does a "preacher's count" and counts each individual little Santa, even if they are a set. I consider a set as one. So being the wife of the man who takes the official counts at church, I can't do a preacher's count and feel good about it!
I purchased a few this fall, so when we went to Lancaster last weekend, I hadn't really planned to get more. But I came home with two...Dave just hugged me and said, "We have to form a support group for you."
Unpacking all the Santas and placing them around the living room takes a few hours. I enjoy it because I get to look at each one and remember who gave it to me or where I got it from. I like to look at all the little details that make each one special and unique. Packing them up again after the New Year is NOT fun. Every January I say "Enough!" And then I buy more!
Santas have their own storage closet. There are a some boxes of other things in this closet, but last year I had to relocate a couple, and this year a couple more may come out as well.
The first out of the closet every year is "Nick." He's my tallest Santa. I bought him in North Carolina. He was going to take up a seat in the van, so we told the kids we were picking someone up and bringing him home with us, his name was Nick, and he was an older man. They believed us, and thought it was pretty funny when we picked up "Nick" from the store. It's become a tradition that he gets to the living room first each Christmas season. Nick gets packed up with care, I "set" the curls in his beard and spray it with a fresh coat of hairspray each January.
Here are all the boxes of Santas in the living room ready to be unpacked!
I've been asked when, and why I began to collect Santas. All of Dave's family members are into collections. Coins, lighthouses, pewter figurines, stamps, Christmas Village, etc...the list goes on. I'm not much of a collector. But the Christmas of 1991 I noticed that I had about a half dozen Santas sitting together on a shelf in the kitchen, and it just occurred to me that this would be a neat thing to collect. I always loved Christmas, so it made sense. I figured it was a good idea because it would only be out for about a month each year, so I'd only have to dust it once before I put it away again. I never imagined that it would grow into what it is now, or that I would have such an affection for Santa Claus!
These Santas bring me joy. Sometimes I see one that I like and it makes me squeal with joy. Like the teapot Santa I spotted before I was in the door of the gift shop at Willow Valley. I actually squealed! I got some funny looks, but I didn't care, I was just completely infatuated at first sight. In another post I'll take you on "tour" of my Santas. And maybe it will bring you joy too!
I'm back!!! Mal's play is finished. She did fantastic. I have to say, in spite of being her mom, she is a great character actress! And even though I still have a week of craziness ahead of me to prepare for our women's retreat, I plan resume blogging.
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I always enjoyed Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, in the last 10 years or so, it seems that society sees Thanksgiving as a necessary interruption in the Christmas shopping season, a day to rest up and plan before Black Friday. If you know me at all, you know that I am an admitted Christmas-aholic. Even if I begin shopping before Thanksgiving, (which I haven't had time to do the last couple of years,) even if there's a nice weather day and we hang the lights on the house before Thanksgiving, Christmas does not begin for me until after Santa has ridden into Herald Square, NYC, in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and the turkey leftovers are in the fridge! The lights don't get plugged in, the Christmas music doesn't get turned on, and the Santas don't come out of the boxes until the day after Thanksgiving. (I was going to write that the Santa's don't come out of the closet, but that would start another whole Santa controversy! And if you don't know about the 150 Santas in my closet, you will soon!)
So...you may have guessed it already, for at least the next 28 days this blog will be about what I find joyful about the Christmas season!
A little background...I am 3rd generation Christmas-aholic. My Nanny (my dad's mother) prepared for Christmas from Dec. 26th on...I am not kidding. My Nanny was the original crafter. As the parents of FIVE sons (take that Andrea Olley!) they had a house with 3 finished floors (including the basement) and an almost finished attic. As the sons moved out, the craft supplies moved in. When she passed away, it tooks weeks to clean out the house. I learned what a "gross" was from my Nanny...12 dozen of something...ususally artificial flowers (plastic...it was before "silk" flowers!) We were making homemade Christmas tree decorations in the 1960's...elaborate beaded balls...I had sore fingers for weeks from pushing straight pins into foam balls. She made centerpieces, wreaths, ceramic trees and figurines and candy dishes, crocheted Christmas doilies,...you name it! She and my Pop-Pop knew every wholesaler from New York City to Englishtown, NJ.
My Dad also loves Christmas. He says it's for kids. Really all he means by that is that kids get the biggest share of the presents. He loves Christmas, the music, the lights, the shopping, the food, having family around. He too decorates no matter what. My father and step mother travel between Thanksgiving and Christmas every year since they were married 27 years ago. He's had major surgeries right before or after Christmas. But no matter what the decorations go up, and they go down. He loves to shop for toys, and even though he has a hard time walking long distances, he will track down what he wants. He's even said more than once he would give us all the money to shop for our kids for him, but he never does. My Dad has a cathedral ceiling in his living room, so there's almost always a big Christmas tree. He's gone out an bought at least one, if not two, table top trees, only to go back to the 9 or 10 footer!
And then there's me...I can't tell you why my Nanny loved then, or my Dad loves now, Christmas the way they do. I never thought to ask. But in the next few weeks, I'm going to tell you why I love this time of year, why it brings me so much joy, and what some of my best memories are. You may have no interest in any of this...so if you don't want to read, I'm not insulted. I'm going to get joy just from writing!
It's 1 AM Friday night/Saturday morning, take your pick. Yes it's been a busy week, so why am I blogging at this time of night?!? I'm still up because we are hosting the Friday night cast party for Mal's play. The cast is small, 14 in all, plus there are a few other kids here who are in the drama club. Most have gone home, thanks to the NJ "Cinderella" license, and of course most of the rest are being picked up by parents who want to go to bed! They are a great group of kids, about 25 or so squeezed into my living room with chips, pizza, cookies, candy and soda. They were polite, grateful for the hospitality, and they cleaned up after themselves. What more could I ask for! It was great to hear the laughter, talk to them about their performances, and to have a full house! I spend a lot of time around these kids during the course of the productions because of my involvement in the Theater Guild. And I just felt blessed tonight by being a part of Mallory's big week.
This is Mallory's first major lead in a play, and we hoped that many of our family members would come to see her. Everyone lives well over an hour or more away, or out of state, and unfortunately, for many reasons, no one has made it yet. Hopefully a few will make it tomorrow.
But I am joyful and blessed because since her very first play 4 or 5 years ago, we have always had great support from our church family. I would say on average, about 20 or more of our family in Christ come out and see her perform, no matter how small or big her part is. Some travel over a half an hour to get here. Some may really want to be relaxing at home, but instead they come out to love on my daughter. I can't tell you how much that means to us.
So now that the last of the young men have left my house, I can go to bed while the girls that are still here have their slumber party. But first, for those of you reading this that have ever come to any or all of Mallory's plays...THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! Mallory will always know that she was loved, and that because of Christ, you are her family!
I haven't posted in several days, and I know you all just wait with bated breath until you get to read my next profound statement! (Oh...visions of my own grandeur!) I'm not sure how often I'm going to get to this in the next few weeks, and my brain is bursting with ideas to write about...hopefully my 35 year old mind will remember all my thoughts. (Okay, let's just pretend I'm having a senior moment and forgot how old I really am!) Okay, I'm delerious, I admit it, but I'm SO busy!!! Steve Sikes spoke about fervent prayer last weekend, well I'm in fervent work mode.
Next week is Mal's play...and even though I tried not to, I got sucked into the "Theater Guild" which is the parent organization that supports the drama productions at the high school...basically a "booster club." I started out by volunteering to run the flower concessions at the plays...I figured twice a year, and I'm done. I specifically told them I did not want anymore responsibility than that...I'm now the treasurer...(okay, I admit it, Dave created all the spread sheet programs for me...but my name's on the account!) AND I'm also now the V.P....don't ask. So I am "fervently" working on all of that.
AND...as all you Pitman folk know...I'm working on the Women's Retreat...(SHAMELESS PLUG... Please get your scripture references in by Nov. 23rd!) I have a title for that event too...I'm the "Retreat General"...which means I get to boss the "Queen" around...but don't tell her that, she's under the delusion that she's actually in charge!
I really do love being busy...maybe someday I'll actually get a job and get paid for doing stuff like this when I'm laid off from my present position in a couple of years.
So anyway...all I intended on writing was..."I'm busy...here's a joke to make you smile...and remember to CHOOSE JOY TODAY!
MISSING HUSBAND
Rick was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 10 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE".
The next morning Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Rick has been missing since Friday. Please pray for him.
This morning in our women's Bible class, "Treasured In My Heart," Patti led our lesson. Patti usually blogs about the class to share the message to a wider audience. But since she isn't going to blog on herself today, some of us who attended will be blogging in her place. So here's my take on the class. I'm not going to document the class in the detail that Patti usually does, I'll just highlight what was meaningful to me.
Patti's opening point was to "Honor the Differences" in our children. Some of our children may have special needs that differentiate them from their siblings and other children, or it could be different talents and gifts, even different trials. But above all, Patti wants us all to honor those differences and value each child for who they are....as in my last post, I am reminded of Jerry and Lynn Jones' oft quoted line, "Not right, not wrong, just different." This is the point she wanted us to walk away with this morning.
But for me, there were two specific things she spoke about that struck me and resonated with me.
First, we read the scripture passages in Luke that spoke of Mary treasuring in her heart special moments in her son Jesus' life. I remembered when I first read those words in Mary Lea's Bible class years ago, (and she was sitting next to me today!) and it SO humanized Mary to me, not as the mother of the Christ, but as a mother like me. I have treasured so many moments of my children's lives in my heart! I take them out and look at them, hold them, and put them safely back into my heart for the next time I need them. But Patty also talked about sinking into the pit of depression and despair, letting her faith weaken because she thought if God truly loved her, he would make all the suffering in her life instantly disappear, and in the process she let her family down as well as missing the moments from the lives of her precious children that she should have stored as treasures in her heart ...I felt like she was telling MY story. And I have to admit, up to that point, even though I know better to think this way, I was sitting there comparing myself to this all knowing, all wise, super-mommy, and falling so short...until she got to the down and dirty...and I remembered that none of us are perfect, that we only learn through experience, and that even though we all have different experiences, we still share the HUMAN experience. We all fall short of the glory of God. I've been in that pit, I've missed many treasured moments, and I have a hard time forgiving myself for it. Thank you Patti, for being real with us. I know it's hard to stand up in front of so many people and share our weaknesses. But it is so comforting to be in the presence of other women who have walked through, and yet survived the same trials and hardships. It demonstrates that with God, all things are possible.
Patti closed that portion of her talk by saying that it is crucial to the well being of our children and grandchildren for us to take the time to treasure all of those special moments in our hearts, and to treasure them enough for those children and grandchildren to see that they themselves are special to you...no matter what. Thank you Patti.
Patti shared a little of how she and Steve, as different as they are, shared a love for God which grew them into the "one" they are now. She shared how she made a "bargain"with God that she would dedicate her life to special education, but that then God should give her no children with special needs...God had other plans. Each of Patti's four children have special needs. She shared a just little about the hardships each of her children have endured.
This led into the second thing that Patti shared that was impactful to me. Patti believes that the sustaining force in the lives of her children is that each knows their identity lies in Christ. She taught them from a young age the "ABC's of the names of Jesus." She hung them on the refrigerator, and wrote them on the hearts of her children. And she gave them each 2 or 3 of those names to claim for their own so that they would recognize those characteristics of Jesus in themselves. THAT IS SOOOO AWESOME!!! Of course all I could think was, "why couldn't I have known or done that?" I was back in the comparison mode again! But my Christian "birth mother" Mary Lea was sitting right next to me and must have read it all over my face! She knew I needed a hug, and some reassurance. After I dusted myself off, I came up with my own ways of giving my children the gift of the names of Jesus. Thank you again Patti!
And one final note....Patti handed out a sheet listing some of the treasures her children have stored up in their hearts. And next to each name was Patti's song for that child. The song she listed next to her oldest son's name..."You are my sunshine"...it's the SAME song I always rocked my son to sleep to when he was small, and he made me continue sing to and rock him to at bedtime until he was at least six years old! And the song next to her oldest daughter's name..."You are my special angel"...yup, same song I sang and rocked my daughter to for years as well. If I had written what Patti had written, those would have been the EXACT two songs I would have put down. Wow! It was a goose-bump moment, as well as a glimpse of some of my own heart's treasures.
Thank you Patti! You truly blessed me today, and I am quite sure you blessed each woman in the room, and in turn, all of our families.
I've been trying to get to this post for a couple of days now, but the time goes so quickly! It's been a busy week, but more notable, it's been an historic week for our country. I'm a pretty conservative person, so it's probably no stretch of the imagination to figure out I didn't vote for our new president-elect. However, I never thought I'd see the day when this country would elect a person of color as our president. And I'm glad I did!
I was born in 1961, when it was still illegal in many place for "colored" people to even drink from the same water fountain as whites. I remember when I was 5, we moved to a very middle class, but very racially and ethnically mixed neighborhood. The "rich people" on the block, with the fancy house and built-in swimming pool, well, they were black! My best friends on the block, Patty and Rose, they had a house with wall to wall, plush, white carpet and really fancy furniture in their living room, and their mom drove a Cadillac...they were black too. The family across the street, they owned their house...also black. The "old people" next door, Mr. and Mrs. Ellis, they were the typical "nice old people who lived next door"...black. Most of the music my mom listened to was by black artists. (Yay Motown!) WE lived in a duplex, and bill collectors called our house. So I really had no idea until about 1st or 2nd grade that there were people who did not like other people just because of the color of their skin. I found out because I noticed my friends' mother had a baseball bat in her Caddie. They told me it was to keep her safe, and when I asked my mother about it, well the pieces fell into place...It was about the same time there were race riots in New Brunswick, NJ, where my father worked at the time. (Those of you who have been on the Rutgers Campus in New Brunswick recently and have seen the fancy downtown area, I remember when that area was made-up of blown-out, boarded up storefronts after the riots.)
As the years went on, my parents bought their first house in a very white, very small town. There were 2 black families in the entire town, and they both lived on my street. Again, I didn't think anything of it, until one day I told one of my new classmates that my old friends from my last school were black. She said "EWWW! You like BLACK people!" I will always remember that moment vividly, because I had never heard anybody say anything like that before. I remember her name, where we were standing, I think I remember what I was wearing. The whole idea that people could make such a blanket statement was as bewildering to me in 4th grade as is still is now.
Now before you go thinking that I must have grown up in some kind of progressive household...that's not the case. Yes, my mother never indicated any sort of racial prejudice, but my father was a different story. He just wasn't around much, he was working a lot, so it was a long time before I got to know his ideas about the whole thing. My sister was the same age as the black girl up the street, and they became friends. They were a very educated family, the father was a chemist or engineer for Johnson and Johnson, and they lived in the proverbial house with the white picket fence. They also happened to be very light skinned. My father always rationalized that they were the way they were (educated and successful) because they must really be "Polynesian" or something like that! The son was my age, and we became good friends. He was EXTREMELY intelligent. I mentioned to my dad that I thought maybe he and I would go to the senior prom together as friends...well that was a big "NO!" That's all I'm going to say about my dad's views...Fortunately I stayed with my own opinions.
Can I honestly say I've never had a racially or ethnically motivated unkind thought in my life...unfortunately no. I believe the evil one finds every opportunity to use that weapon...humans always want to find someone to be superior to. Every society has some sort of "underclass" that is categorized that way simply because of some superficial, blanket stereotype. I just try very hard to battle those thoughts. We live in one of the most diverse towns in the area...some people wonder why we live here if we can afford to live someplace "better." I'm glad to say my kids like living here, they like the diversity. My kids and their friends, (of many racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds) are surprisingly candid about racial differences. They make fun of each other, and themselves, in ways that sometimes horrify me! But their motivation is so different than what I'm used to...they're honest, appreciate the differences, accept the differences, and they don't seem to think one difference is superior to other differences. Like Jerry and Lynn Jones say: "Not right, not wrong, just different."
We worked hard to teach our kids not to distinguish people by their race. The only times I mentioned the color of someone's skin was if it was important to what I was saying. It's amazing how often people will tell me a story, and mention that the people they are talking about are black, as if that changes the perspective. And unfortunately, for a lot of people, it does change perception. I have told the same story two different times to the same people, and when skin color is mentioned their entire demeanor changes. Sad. When Steven was in kindergarten, he has a video game that featured one "white" and one "black" character. You could choose which one you wanted to be. Steven called them "beige" and "brown" and he usually picked the brown boy because Steven had a flat top crew cut at the time, and so did the brown boy in the video game. Sadly, it wasn't until my children celebrated Black History Month in school that they learned how often people are distinguished by the color of their skin.
Anyway...this wasn't even what I sat down to write, but I'll trust the Spirit knows it needed to be written and I'll go with it. My point is, when I chose not to vote for Barack Obama (boy, everyone's going to have to update their spell check now!) it had nothing to do with the color of his skin. And I feel good that I can say that with complete honesty. I looked for reasons TO vote for him, because I wanted to be a part of this historic change, but I had to vote based on the issues and where my conscience was leading me.
There are so many people who feel that the world as we know it will cease to exist, (for better or for worse,) because Obama was elected. Some because of the historic change, some because they were so dissatisfied with the current administration, some because they fear the economic down-turn they are sure will come with Democrats in office, some because they feel the lowly masses will rise-up and overthrow white America, and some who really believe Obama is an undercover Muslim terrorist. All those people are entitled to their opinions and beliefs. I truly embrace the "don't argue about religion and politics" way of relating to others..."you can catch more flies with sugar than vinegar" works for me. So I don't go there. All I know is that I got goose-bumps when I heard an African-American woman on TV cry because she can honestly tell her son that he can grow up to be president of the United States, or anything else he wanted to be, with total honesty and confidence that it can happen.
In our church family, Pitman church of Christ, we have a little slice of heaven. We are diverse, we welcome and respect diversity. But we are truly one in the body of Christ. I've never experienced anything like it, and I doubt I will any place else on this side of heaven. It is a blessing from God that I am grateful for everyday. I believe this kind of unity can only come through Christ. Ultimately, our freedom, our equality, and our unity come from God through Jesus Christ.
As I said...I had no intention of writing this post this way...what I planned to write can wait until the next post because this is SO long already. So in all these thoughts, this is where I derive my JOY today....
"For God does not show favoritism." Romans 2:11
"You are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus, for all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourself with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:26-28
"We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother,he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command; Whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:21
Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit, and news about him spread through the whole countryside. He taught in their synagogues, and everyone praised him.He went to Nazareth, where he had been brought up, and on the Sabbath day he went into the synagogue, as was his custom. And he stood up to read. The scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."
Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him, and he began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." Luke 4:14-21
Isn't life complicated??? Sometimes my brain is so full of STUFF that I think my head is going to pop off my neck. Sometimes it feels like there's so much going on around me that my eyes are just spinning in their sockets. Remember when we were kids and we would tell our parents how much we couldn't wait to grow up...and they would tell us to just enjoy childhood, that being a grown-up wasn't as fun as it looked to kids??? Being a kid wasn't always what it's cracked up to be either, some of us had childhoods we have no desire to go back and relive. BUT I'm sure we all crave the simplicity that goes along with childhood.
Another thing about childhood back in the day, or the teen years for that matter, is that everything then seemed so black and white, and that life should be fair. Unfortunately for our kids that's not necessarily the the way it is anymore. Truth is not absolute... and fairness, HA! Now it's all about competition and winning no matter what. But our black and white, sometimes fair, world was based on basic truths we learned early on about how to conduct ourselves in life, and those truths were usually reinforced when we went to school, or to our friend's house. I can't help but wonder what the world would be like today if we, as adults, held on to the basics we learned as kids. Would the world be in the mess it's in, would the economy be in a shambles???
A dozen or so years ago, there was a very popular book by Robert Fulghum, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." In the book Fulghum celebrates the simplicity and innocence that comes from childhood and how to see it in your adult life. He discusses some of the basic truths we learn as children. Fulghum was in ministry at one time, but the book gets a little new age now and again. However, the basic concept is biblical: God tells us to be like children too. He says we must be like children to in order to enter the His Kingdom.
My favorite part of the book is a list of things we learned in kindergarten, hence the name of the book. I took his list and found scripture God has given us to teach us those same things. The bold text is Fulghum's, the italics are God's, non- bold, non italics are mine.
“All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate-school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School.These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
“ All the believers were together and had everything in common.Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.”Acts 2:44-45 *
Play fair.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.”Luke 6:31
Don’t hit people.
“But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person.If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.”Matt 5:39
“When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, ’If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone…” John 8:7
Put things back where you found them.
“The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously…”
Psalm 37:21
Clean up your own mess.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”Matt 7:4-5
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
“You shall not steal.
You shall not covet your neighbors house…”Exodus 20:15, 17
Say you’re sorry when you hurt somebody.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged.Do not condemn and you will not be condemned.Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”Luke 6:37
Wash your hands before you eat.
“The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.”Psalm 18:20
Flush.
Okay.This one just proves that the Bible has guidance for every situation!
“Designate a place outside the camp where you can go to relieve yourself.As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement.”Deut 23:12-13
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
This one is a stretch- but humor me!
“He looked around, there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals…He ate and drank…Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights…” 1 Kings 19:6,8
“Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.” 1 Peter 2:2-3
Live a balanced life- learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.”Phil 4:8
“He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.”Eph 4:28
Take a nap every afternoon.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”Matt 11:28-29
When you go into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
“Be self-controlled and alert.Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.”1 Peter 5:8-9
Be aware of wonder.Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
“ Then God said ‘Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.’ And it was so.”Genesis 1:11
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup- they all die.So do we.
“By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return.”
Genesis 3:19
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away.”
Matt 24:35
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”John 3:16
And remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned- the biggest word of all- LOOK.
“Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation:My God will hear me.”Micah 7:7 KJV
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation.Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.
Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or your government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm.Think what a better world it would be if we all- the whole world- had cookies and milk at about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap.Or if all governments had a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.
And it’s still true, no matter how old you are- when you go out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.”1
*All scriptures from the NIV of the Bible except where noted.
1.Robert Fulghum, All I Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten(New York: Villard Books, 1990) pages 6, 7, & 8.
I hope you enjoyed my take on Fulghum's list. There is a lot of opportunity for joy in that list! Not just because doing those things can make us happy. But because in doing many of those things we experience the joy that is the fruit of the Spirit that lives in us when we have been born of the water and the Spirit, and once again become like children!
“I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”Matt 18:3
Today, November 3rd, is the 23rd anniversary of the day I became Mrs. David Perine!So that explains who those people are in the photos!About 7 years ago, we had a Super Bowl party here for the church youth group, and one of the girls said to me, “Miss Annette, I didn’t know you were married before you married Mr. Dave!”I had no idea what this girl was talking about!!!I told her no, I had never married anyone other than Dave, but she didn’t believe me because she said there was a picture hanging on the wall in the den of me and someone else getting married. No matter how many photos I showed her, she wouldn’t believe that the man in the picture was “Mr. Dave.”Now of course I was completely flattered that she had no doubt that it was me in the picture…but for the life of me I couldn’t understand why she didn’t recognize Dave.He looked exactly the same to me, except for the hair color and the mustache!I still don’t see the difference, to me he’s still the same adorable guy with the great smile.
But the fact of the matter is, we aren’t the same people as the ones in these pictures…thank God for that!Literally!Those two people were alright, they had a lot going for them, they were cute, and spontaneous, and fun…all the things our kids think we’re not anymore!We had all the makings of what we are today.But first of all, there are TWO standing there...Dave and Annette.And now there is ONE…Dave, Annette, and Christ.
I often say the secret to the success of our marriage is an agreement we made during the first few months of our marriage…Dave would never have to iron clothes, and I would never have to mow the lawn, but we would share everything else!And so far, 23 years later, we’ve stuck to it.To this day, Dave would clean the bathroom if I asked him, he helps with the laundry and dishes.I’ll take out the trash, do home improvement projects and fix broken appliances.Our marriage was always good, but it really took off after we became Christians.In many ways we are still who we each married, but in a transformed way.We have a depth of commitment that can only come from doing marriage God’s way.Is it perfect? No, of course not.But the mutual respect that comes from parenting God’s way, doing ministry together God’s way, and putting God first is something I would have never even imagined possible 23 years ago.That’s the real secret to success.
When Dave and I were dating, we found we liked a lot of the same music, some that not many of our friends were into. One of the bands we both really liked was “Chicago” which was unusual because at that point they were way past their heyday. We adopted a couple of their songs as “our songs” that first summer we dated, “Beginnings” and “Just You and Me.”When we were planning our wedding, we were at a loss as to what song to play for our “first dance” because neither of those songs really worked, and we couldn’t come up with anything else we liked. Then one day we were in the carand a song came on the radio that we had never heard before. We recognized that the band playing the song was Chicago, and midway through the song, we knew we had found OUR song! It was "You're the Inspiration." A brand new Chicago song just in time for our wedding!I felt that way about Dave then, and I still do now!
So today my joy comes from the 23 years I have been married to the man I know God created just for me!
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
I'm a summer girl...I love spring when everything is new, but really when it comes down to it I just love the summertime. But I've gotten a much better appreciation for fall over the year, especially as I look for God in His creation of the earth.
I think what makes me appreciate God's hand in autumn most is that He knew that we wouldn't particularly like to see everything around us dying. So He made it beautiful! I think it's just really amazing that the leaves become such beautiful, vivid colors before they die. I mean really, if there was no intelligence behind the creation of this earth, why would we possibly know what was beautiful anyway?
I've learned through my Master Gardener association to take into account the color of the fall foliage when choosing trees, shrubs, and perennials. So now I'm taking note even more of what I see when I'm driving around so I can select some new things to add to my landscaping in the future.
We've had some perfect weather this fall for vivid colored foliage. I've gotten a lot of joy out of really looking around and taking in all of the beauty that God blesses us with this time of year. If you haven't gotten a chance to drive or walk around just for the sake of looking at the fall colors, JUST DO IT!
My slide show is made up of photos I took around my yard the over the last week. I had planned to take a trip out to the local lake to take a few more photos, but I haven't had a chance yet, so maybe I'll add more later.
I have no profound words about bananas or compost today, just a reminder to take a few minutes everyday to enjoy God's creation!
"How many are your works O LORD! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures." Psalm 104:24
Today on Patti's Moms Transformed blog she wrote about men of "steel and velvet" and asked us to comment on our men of steel and velvet...so I did. http://momstransformed.blogspot.com/2008/10/no-more-night-men-of-steel-and-velvet.html When I posted the comment and looked back at it, it sure sounded like I was married to the perfect man! Well of course he is not perfect, but he's perfect for me! And ladies, you know we all mold our men...they don't come to us as the finished "perfect husband" product! We of course, as wives, come ready out of the box. (Please hear this with a strong sarcastic tone! ;) ) One friend likes to say that men have to attend the "Lunk-head" school! Well here's what I imagine would be a couple of lessons for the lunk-heads! (Joy-booster alert...you're supposed to laugh at this!)
LESSON ONE: A WOMAN'S VOCABULARY
FINE:This is the word we use to end an argument. "Fine" means that the argument is over, we are right, you should shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES:This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
NOTHING:This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows):This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."
GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows):This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
LOUD SIGH:This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."
SOFT SIGH:Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.
OH:This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says, "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.
THAT'S OKAY:This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding on your punishment for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
PLEASE DO:This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."
THANKS:A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, "You're welcome."
THANKS A LOT:This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."
LESSON TWO: HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WIFE DURING THAT ONE SPECIAL WEEK OUT OF THE MONTH (Unless she is going through to menopause, in which case, use this daily in conjunction with lesson one.)
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every Husband, boyfriend, and significant other.
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here is fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you some caramel for that apple? ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I have always loved you in that robe ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolates.
Okay then...what does this really say...who is really the perfect spouse in a marriage! My joy comes from a good laugh... at myself! And also that neither one of us has to be perfect, if God forgives us for being imperfect, surely we can forgive one another!
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. Proverbs 15:30
Bananas. I truly get joy from bananas!!! I think bananas are the perfect food! I just love the way God made bananas! And to me, they symbolize God’s perfect simplicity in a complex and chaotic world:
The banana…God’s perfect food. It comes pre-wrapped, no washing needed. It’s portable. You need nothing but your hands and mouth to prepare it and eat it. As it ripens the flavor changes, so you can pick your favorite time to eat it. It doesn’t taste like other fruits…it tastes FATTENING!!! It’s unique among fruits. God could definitely get a patent on this one!
Our relationship with God…perfect simplicity It requires only one washing, but then we stay clean, even if we are dropped in the dirt once in awhile. It is portable…we can take God with us anywhere we go. You need nothing but your heart to prepare it and eat of it. As you ripen, your flavor grows! It’s not like anything else…it is completely satisfying. It’s completely unique among other belief systems…God gives perfect grace, no human could have thought of it!
A little extra joy-burst: Another thing I love about bananas…that was my son’s FIRST word…NANA! He ate one every morning… and I would dance it across the highchair tray and sing the Sesame Street song “One Banana.” We were in the grocery store and as we passed the bananas he said it, “NANA!” I thought I was hearing things since he was only 10 ½ months old, so I went up and down a few aisles and walked past again…and he said it again. We did that several times until I was convinced! “…I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.” Psalm 13:5
Last week my son was selected by lottery as one of 300 out of 6800 applicants to attend the final Presidential Debate, being held at his school, Hofstra University.This was something he really hoped to attend ever since it was announced last spring.I was very excited for him.A number of people wanted to know whether or not he was selected, so I sent an e-mail out letting everyone know.One response I received was from my dear friend Cordelia.Cordelia began her e-mail by saying, “Annette, I felt your “mommy moment.”And I thought, yes, that just what I feel, it’s a mommy moment!
For me, a mommy moment is a moment of intense joy I feel when my kids have something happen in their lives that is meaningful to them.It’s not necessarily because I am proud of them for an accomplishment, or that they did something that I wanted them to do, it’s just about them.Steven wanted the opportunity to be a part of an historic event that few people experience.The activity on campus with media and security alone that day was an event to be remembered.But on top of that he was able to be in the same room with the next President of the United States in what is being considered the most significant election in his lifetime, if not mine as well.
Other recent “Mommy Moments”
Mallory got the part she wanted in the school’s fall play.It a major lead role, her first.But more importantly, it was the role she really wanted.Even though she’s had smaller parts in other plays, when it was the part she really wanted, that was what was most important to her.What a great attitude!
A double:Steven had to work extra hard last spring semester to bring his grades up in order to keep his academic scholarship.He expected to get the grades to break even… instead, even a surprise to him, he got all A’s and A-‘s!And consequently he made Dean’s List. The mommy moment for me was his satisfaction in a job well done, as well as his surprise in how well he did.And then over the summer he received an invitation into an honor society for first year students.He was so surprised, it wasn’t anything he knew about, expected, or even applied for! It was an unexpected recognition of his efforts.
Mallory was nominated for “Miss Junior” at her high school last week.It’s the Homecoming Queen for 11th graders.The top 8 vote getters in the class become the finalists.She was truly humbled to have been nominated by her peers.It wasn’t even a passing thought in her mind, and no one mentioned ahead of time that they would be voting for her.
The joy I get seeing my children come into their own is beyond expression.All you moms out there know what those moments feel like. When your kids are younger, the mommy moments can be as simple as the first time they win Candy Land to the day they learn to ride a bike.I’d be honored if you would send in your “Mommy Moments” to me via e-mail or comments and let me know if I can share them in another post.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”James 1:17
As many of you know, I took horticultural classes last spring to become a Master Gardener. Believe me...it sound MUCH more impressive than it is! My fellow MG's are really into composting. They really laid it on thick when they found out I have an endless supply of dead leaves in my yard...they continually asked why I wasn't saving my kitchen and garden waste and making a big compost pile. After a while I began to feel guilty because I didn't compost! But I resisted. Just what I needed...a pile of rotting waste in my backyard!!!
But as the months went by, and I learned more about this "black gold" that everyone was raving about, I decided that once the fall came, and it was time to pull out all the old flowers, and the dead leaves would be plentiful, I would give this composting thing a go. The next question was...what was I going to use to store this pile of refuse! You can spend well over $100 on a fancy composter, or you can build bins...the list goes on and on. But since Dave's employment future is still uncertain I figured I'd go as economical as possible and just use glorified chicken wire and stakes. So over the weekend I built my compost bin...I am VERY proud of it...it gave me GREAT joy! In the next couple of days I'm going to start filling it. The leaves are falling, my flowers are ready to be yanked out, and I'm even saving veggie scraps in my fridge! I can use fireplace ashes, paper, all kinds of waste! YIPPIE! If you pile it up the right way, add the right amount of water, in a few days it starts to give off heat, the worms show up...and wa-la... In a few months you've got the black gold! My flower beds are just waiting to suck up all that nutrient rich stuff!
I'm an analogy person...if you know me, you know I like to make an analogy for everything...I'm a visual person, so word pictures really work for me. I couldn't help but get to thinking about this compost pile, and life....isn't this what a Christian life looks like...you take all your waste, the dead stuff, the rotting stuff, the stuff you should just throw away...and God can take all that and transform it into something really valuable, and then He can even use it to nourish others! (Notice it also takes some WATER to get all of this going!)
Keeping this analogy is mind will help me to be JOYFUL even when I'm tending to this worm laden pile of decomposing stuff!!! Rejoice in the Lord always!!!
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
Okay, does the world need another blog...more to the point, do the women at the Pitman Church of Christ need to read one more blog??? Well, the answer to both of those questions is, "NO." But, if you know me, you know that "NO" doesn't always stop me!
Two and a half years ago, I led a Wednesday night time of devotion for our women that I called "Choose Joy!" Ilearned few things in the process of leading that class- First, leading a class for adults is REALLY hard work: no crafts, no puppet shows! You've got to fill the time with substance. Second- If you lead a class on "Joy" be prepared for an attack from the evil one. During those three months I ended up in a deep depression. I'm not saying that to discourage anyone from teaching or pursuing joy. I'm cautioning you to be prepared for the attack...because I wasn't.
The third thing I learned- and this is the point of the story- I found out I was more comfortable expressing myself in writing. My devos looked great to me on paper, but when I got up in front of the class my mouth literally went dry every week. So the best part of the class for me were the e-mails I sent out to the group that I called "Joy Boosters." They were just little snippets of my daily quest for joy, or maybe a joke, or some photos I took of something beautiful in God's creation. It was kind of blog via e-mail. After the quarter was over, several women asked me to continue, and I did for a while, but I was concerned that I was just filling up in boxes with stuff that not everyone really wanted. So I decided to start a blog that women could choose to read. So have you seen my blog before today??? No you haven't because I never got past the first post.
Flash forward to now- blogging is definitely the "in" thing to do among the women in my church family. And I guess you could say I'm jumping on the bandwagon...but I've been 2 years in the leap! I don't find myself looking for those daily "joy boosters" that God sends me as much as I used to. So if nobody reads this blog, that's okay, because if it gets me back in the habit of choosing God's gift of joy then it will have served it's purpose.
Maria just celebrated her 3rd Birthday! And she will be starting preschool in the fall...as per her request I ordered a personalized Disney Princesses Backpack with matching lunch box for her gift. She's healthy and happy and her latest adventure is learning how to swim in the backyard pool. Maria still visits CHOP every 6 months for now. God is Good, and Maria remains cancer free.
f time around these kids during the course of the productions because of my involvement in the Theater Guild. And I just felt blessed tonight by being a part of Mallory's big week.
