Who ARE those people???

Today, November 3^rd, is the 23^rd anniversary of the day I became Mrs. David Perine! So that explains who those people are in the photos! About 7 years ago, we had a Super Bowl party here for the church youth group, and one of the girls said to me, “Miss Annette, I didn’t know you were married before you married Mr. Dave!” I had no idea what this girl was talking about!!! I told her no, I had never married anyone other than Dave, but she didn’t believe me because she said there was a picture hanging on the wall in the den of me and someone else getting married. No matter how many photos I showed her, she wouldn’t believe that the man in the picture was “Mr. Dave.” Now of course I was completely flattered that she had no doubt that it was me in the picture…but for the life of me I couldn’t understand why she didn’t recognize Dave. He looked exactly the same to me, except for the hair color and the mustache! I still don’t see the difference, to me he’s still the same adorable guy with the great smile.

But the fact of the matter is, we aren’t the same people as the ones in these pictures…thank God for that! Literally! Those two people were alright, they had a lot going for them, they were cute, and spontaneous, and fun…all the things our kids think we’re not anymore! We had all the makings of what we are today. But first of all, there are TWO standing there...Dave and Annette. And now there is ONE…Dave, Annette, and Christ.

I often say the secret to the success of our marriage is an agreement we made during the first few months of our marriage…Dave would never have to iron clothes, and I would never have to mow the lawn, but we would share everything else! And so far, 23 years later, we’ve stuck to it. To this day, Dave would clean the bathroom if I asked him, he helps with the laundry and dishes. I’ll take out the trash, do home improvement projects and fix broken appliances. Our marriage was always good, but it really took off after we became Christians. In many ways we are still who we each married, but in a transformed way. We have a depth of commitment that can only come from doing marriage God’s way. Is it perfect? No, of course not. But the mutual respect that comes from parenting God’s way, doing ministry together God’s way, and putting God first is something I would have never even imagined possible 23 years ago. That’s the real secret to success.

When Dave and I were dating, we found we liked a lot of the same music, some that not many of our friends were into. One of the bands we both really liked was “Chicago” which was unusual because at that point they were way past their heyday. We adopted a couple of their songs as “our songs” that first summer we dated, “Beginnings” and “Just You and Me.” When we were planning our wedding, we were at a loss as to what song to play for our “first dance” because neither of those songs really worked, and we couldn’t come up with anything else we liked. Then one day we were in the car and a song came on the radio that we had never heard before. We recognized that the band playing the song was Chicago, and midway through the song, we knew we had found OUR song! It was "You're the Inspiration." A brand new Chicago song just in time for our wedding! I felt that way about Dave then, and I still do now!

So today my joy comes from the 23 years I have been married to the man I know God created just for me!

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

If one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

A Woman's Vocabulary

Today on Patti's Moms Transformed blog she wrote about men of "steel and velvet" and asked us to comment on our men of steel and velvet...so I did. http://momstransformed.blogspot.com/2008/10/no-more-night-men-of-steel-and-velvet.html When I posted the comment and looked back at it, it sure sounded like I was married to the perfect man! Well of course he is not perfect, but he's perfect for me! And ladies, you know we all mold our men...they don't come to us as the finished "perfect husband" product! We of course, as wives, come ready out of the box. (Please hear this with a strong sarcastic tone! ;) ) One friend likes to say that men have to attend the "Lunk-head" school! Well here's what I imagine would be a couple of lessons for the lunk-heads!
(Joy-booster alert...you're supposed to laugh at this!)

LESSON ONE: A WOMAN'S VOCABULARY

FINE: This is the word we use to end an argument. "Fine" means that the argument is over, we are right, you should shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH: This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says, "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding on your punishment for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, "You're welcome."

THANKS A LOT: This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

LESSON TWO: HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR WIFE DURING THAT ONE SPECIAL WEEK OUT OF THE MONTH (Unless she is going through to menopause, in which case, use this daily in conjunction with lesson one.)

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every Husband, boyfriend, and significant other.

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here is fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you some caramel for that apple?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I have always loved you in that robe
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolates.

Okay then...what does this really say...who is really the perfect spouse in a marriage! My joy comes from a good laugh... at myself! And also that neither one of us has to be perfect, if God forgives us for being imperfect, surely we can forgive one another!

A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. Proverbs 15:30