Meeting Jesus

I wrote in my last post about "re-purposing" myself. I realized over the last few days that what is missing in my life is not purpose, but relationship.

Last week I read "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller. Many people have been blown away by this book. It didn't blow me away in terms of my views on Christianity. But, there were things that Miller wrote that began to stir in me the notion that I am not in relationship with Jesus Christ.

Years ago, I read a book by Philip Yancy, "The Jesus I Never Knew." It seems to have become a staple in Christian book stores and catalogs, I have continued to see it around since I first read it, probably 15 years ago when it first came out. I remembered liking it, so I went back to my bookshelf and took it out to read again. Yancy wrote this book out of his journey to go beyond what society and man-made doctrine say about who Jesus is, and to see what the Bible specifically reveals about the person of Jesus.

I've only read the first couple of chapters so far. Yancy begins by looking at the birth of Jesus without all the "prettiness" of the Christmas story we are used to. He looks with incredulous wonder at the what is truly the absurdity and impossibility that God, the Creator of All, was born on this earth. Never mind to a teenage unwed mother in a stable, but that God would even come to meet us in human form in any way!

While reading this, it occurred to me what a gift it would be to hear the gospel completely fresh and clean of all of our human tradition and presumptions about God and Jesus. What I mean is, I grew up knowing about the "Christian God and Savior" and everything I was told and exposed to impacted my perception of the Gospel when I really read it straight from the Bible as an adult. My reaction wasn't "WOW! That's amazing that God would come down here as a human to save my soul!" My thoughts were more like, "Oh, NOW I know the full story why Jesus had to die on the cross." I didn't think deeply at that time how incomprehensible God on earth is, and that we can know God as person through Jesus. I guess that part of the story was a forgone conclusion for me. Now I understand why someone would become a missionary in places where the people have never, ever heard of Jesus Christ; it's the wonder of witnessing someone hear this story the very first time, then to come to believe it!

To hear the gospel without ever hearing it before must make the story so much more intense, impactful, incredulous, and inspiring than growing up with the notion your whole life. It must make a great foundation for a deep and lasting relationship with Christ.

I'm not saying my conversion was not a wonderful thing. It was! For me, it was the realization and acceptance that I am a sinner in need of redemption, and Jesus is the way. It was the understanding of the need for the Cross and the blood sacrifice to redeem me. And it was the assurance of the Holy Spirit living in me and freeing me from "self." But we were given a gift to know God personally through the person, the human, of Jesus. And that's the piece of the puzzle that has been missing for me all these years.

So my purpose remains the same, to be God's hands and feet on this earth, which is the purpose all Christians are given. My ministry, my job, my tasks may change in new ways to fulfill that purpose. However, my current "assignment" is to meet Jesus, and to know Him in a more personal way. It will take time, patience, and perseverance. I will be thwarted in every way. But I believe that the Holy Spirit is telling me to know Jesus or I will end up spiritually dead in the water and ineffective as a Christian. Without joy.